We were told to keep an eye on Charlie’s bilirubin numbers after we were released from the hospital because they were rising and hadn’t peaked yet. At our first pediatrician appointment a week after his birth, he was diagnosed with jaundice and Charlie had to spend 24 hours under bili lights at the hospital. I had trouble breastfeeding and supplemented with formula from birth because I was utterly clueless and unprepared to breastfeed. He was a big baby and he was very hungry, so I was very thankful for formula, especially when my pediatrician recommended supplementing to help treat his jaundice. Supplementing also took the pressure off of me being the only source of nutrition for my baby. One thing my pediatrician told me then has stayed with me to this day:
“Even if your baby gets 2 feedings of breastmilk each day, they’re still getting most of the benefits.”
I don’t know if there is any specific evidence backing this up, but it took so much pressure off of me to exclusively breastfeed, and that’s what I needed at the time. I supplemented with formula the first month of Charlie’s life, gave up breastfeeding around 4 months, and ended up exclusively pumping until 9 months. He got exclusive breastmilk for 8 months of his life, and looking back exclusively pumping was a huge commitment! I was lucky enough to have the flexibility to do it since I worked at home, but I can’t imagine how difficult it is for moms who work outside of the home.
When I had Olive, she had jaundice too, but what my pediatrician told me about breastmilk benefits remained in the back of my mind. Even though I didn’t really have a successful breastfeeding relationship with Charlie, because of what my pediatrician told me, I didn’t put that much pressure on myself. I ended up exclusively breastfeeding Olive until she was 26 months old, and we could easily have gone on much longer as she didn’t want to wean. But if we needed to supplement with formula, I would have been totally fine with that too.
There are so many pressures put on mothers by society, family, and perhaps most, ourselves, especially when it comes to breastfeeding. I wasn’t immune, but now that my kids are almost 6 and 8, I can honestly say I have no regrets about breastfeeding, not breastfeeding, and if I had only formula fed, I would be totally fine with that too.
Did you receive any life changing advice about being a parent?
pomelo / 5084 posts
My pediatrician said something really low like 6 ounces a day was enough to convey 90% of the benefits! I definitely didn’t feel bad about doing half and half!!
guest
I wish my pediatrician had told me something like that! I felt so much pressure and felt like it was the end of the world when I had to supplement with formula when my little guy has jaundice. It turned out to be no big deal and he’s been exclusively breastfed since then, but I know even if he had kept needing formula, everything would have been fine.
guest
While every mom does what’s right for their situation, science does prove that receiving only breast milk is most ideal for a baby’s developing gut, brain etc.
Also, more time spent at the breast helps your milk come in. Not saying that this is the only way (my oldest had to have formula in the hospital) but introducing formula when not medically necessiatated can make it difficult to EBF later, if that’s what you want. Again , formula can be a life saver for any number of reasons, but it shouldn’t be thought of as almost interchangeable with breast milk, which this post makes it sound like.
olive / 64 posts
My OBGYN said “I was formula fed and look at me! I’m a doctor.” I wasn’t producing enough and on the edge of depression. She also said “Your baby needs a healthy, happy mom more than your breast milk.” That really stuck with me and helped me. My son had formula starting the day he was born. Had varying amounts of breast milk until 2 months old. He is 5 and thriving. Fed is best. Mothers need to support each other more. Think of your friends, family, coworkers, leaders, do you know if they were breastfed? No! Because in the end it doesn’t matter that much.
persimmon / 1390 posts
I breastfed exclusively for about 5 months, supplemented with formula for about another 5 months, and did formula after that with baby #2. This was a surprise because breastfeeding the first time around was so easy for me, and I am such a huge advocate based on the science. My life was very different with my second baby, and while I absolutely support breastfeeding I don’t think letting it effect your quality of life really does anyone any good. I made the decision to spend more time with my family and be less stressed out (I made the decision after a lactation consultant suggested I add another pumping session in the morning, which would mean giving up exercising and getting up at 5:15am, on top of already having to stay at work another 15-30 minutes longer every day to pump and therefore not be able to eat dinner as a family). The first time I gave my daughter a bottle of formula I breathed such a huge sigh of relief and from then on breastfeeding was no longer stressful. If my employment situation had been different, I would have been able to exclusively breastfeed/pump but I didn’t have that luxury. We all understand the benefits of breastfeeding but I think we need to do a better job sometimes of recognizing that stress and quality of life also have a significant impact on our health. Did my baby possibly miss out on some health benefits provided by breastmilk? Sure. But she reaped the benefit of living in a much happier household which will have a lasting impact.
guest
Actually the science should be taken with a grain of salt. Most studies on breastfeeding do not control for socioeconomic status, which is a huge issue.
https://fivethirtyeight.com/features/everybody-calm-down-about-breastfeeding/
grapefruit / 4455 posts
I chose to formula feed my second (who actually would have likely nursed just fine based on what we did do for colostrum) and had a GREAT experience. Well, chose insofar as it had to do with me having health issues, rather than any issues with latch/baby/intolerances/etc. So far he’s healthy and happy and doing well. The science has really not been able to control well for other differences as far as I can see, and the benefits can’t be compared to the potential issues that breastfeeding would cause for some families, and I just think with all the unhealthy stuff kids can end up eating later in life, formula isn’t all that bad. 🤷♀️ If bf works out, great, but if not, then what’s the point of feeling guilty about it? Doesn’t help anyone.
persimmon / 1233 posts
I’m glad to see formula getting more love these days. Yay formula!
From what I can tell, from both studies and anecdotally with my kids and their friends, how infants are fed makes zero long-term difference in how healthy or smart or bonded to their parents they end up (assuming clean water, etc.).