LeLe is 3 and a half now and Little Bug is 2 and we are still bedsharing as a family. It is still as wonderful as it always was, and now it is working even better because the kids are a little more independent so Mr. Cereal and I are able to have some adult time outside of the bedroom at night. The routine is pretty much the same, and the results seem to be working really well.
Why are we still bedsharing? For so many reasons, but part of it is because both of the kids have expressed that they enjoy it and do not want to change our situation. LeLe’s crib is at the highest setting with two mattresses and that makes it perfectly lined up with our mattress. Mr. Cereal removed one side of the crib and strapped it to our bed frame with ratchet tethers, so everything is like one continuous unit. LeLe sleeps in the crib, but can freely move over into the bed if she wants. Usually though she just sleeps on the very edge of the crib mattress close to me. I love it because I can cover her up with blankets of she gets cold, comfort her if she has a bad dream, and snuggle her to sleep at night.
For Little Bug, we still have him sleeping in between Mr. Cereal and me. We have a king sized bed, so there is plenty of room. This actually works even better for Little Bug because he is a frequent stirrer during the night and it is so much easier to pat his back and get him back to sleep when he is so close to us. Plus, Little Bug is a snuggler. He really prefers to be touching one of us for most of the night, and we both like having this contact with him.
Now that Mr. Cereal and I are both working more hours and have less time with the kids, we like that we have this guaranteed time together at night with the kids. I like being able to snuggle the kids and talk to them about their days and reconnect after being gone from them most of the day. We usually get into bed around 7:30, watch one tv show with the kids, read a book or two, and then by then Little Bug is usually out. LeLe is allowed to watch a few videos and then she usually conks out shortly after. On the nights when one of the kids is up later than normal (thank you late naps!), they get one on one time with us, which they both seem to love.
I know a lot of people have questions about how this works for Mr. Cereal and me, and the honest answer is that we both really love the time with the kids. If we want alone time, for whatever reason, we wait until the kids are asleep and then go downstairs. Because we are more comfortable with the kids being alone in the room now that they are older and less likely to fall off the bed or get caught up in bedding, we have been going downstairs a lot more to watch our tv programs or work. It’s nice because we are still getting the time with the kids, but we are also able to have alone time too.
Bedsharing is not for every family. It has to be a mutual decision between both parents, and if not, it probably won’t work. The safety aspect of it should definitely be considered. In our case, we took some measures to ensure that the bed was safe when the kids were much smaller. Now that they are both older, the safety aspect is much less serious as the kids have blankets and pillows and are often snuggled up under our comforters during the night. But again, the safety aspect should be considered prior to making the decision to bedshare.
Eventually we will move the kids out of the bed and into their own, maybe still in our room for a while. It really depends on the kids and what they want to do. I suspect that once one decides to be out of the bed and in their own, the other will want the same thing, so I figure it will be a all or none situation. Ideally, they will want to continue for a while longer as we are all enjoying it for now.
wonderful kiwi / 23653 posts
Can you go into more details about how you are attaching the crib to your bed?
One of my dream is to have both kids in the bed with us too! But our bed’s platform kinda sticks out and we haven’t really found a way to attach anything right next to our bed safely so we haven’t done it; currently I sleep with baby and DH sleeps with preschooler. I get the same question all the time too. I’m like, we sleep when we sleep! We have the whole house to ourselves to do whatever in!
blogger / kiwi / 626 posts
@snowjewelz: We have a standard metal frame and Mr. Cereal used three ratchet straps to connect the bottom frame of the crib to the metal frame of the bed. he then tightened them as tight as they will go, which resulted in the crib and the bed literally touching.
I’m not sure how this would work with a platform frame, especially with no place to strap the crib to. If you could strap the crib and use a second crib mattress to bridge the gap, and then place the top mattress on top of that, you could fill in the gap on the side of the crib with pool noodles or a foam piece that is fit to that size. We use a pool noodle to push the crib mattress over far enough to be snug with our mattress.
I hope this helps. I initially got my idea from pinterest, so you might want to explore there to see how others are doing this with a platform bed.
guest
I love this! It’s refreshing to read something on hellobee that is different from the usual “cry it out” mantra. We do not bedshare in or house because it is not what is most comfortable for our son. But I would love to do it and understand why families do. It is so important that each family do what works best for them and for us to be accepting of this. Thank you for sharing what works for you and helping to normalize different types of parenting.
apricot / 264 posts
I agree that it’s nice to see a different perspective on sleeping. We’ve bedshared with all 3 kids because it’s what feels natural and most comfortable for us. It makes sense that babies/young kids want to be near their parents at night to sleep. Mine also like the comfort at night. As my husband says, they won’t need us forever. One day this will end. For now, we enjoy the snuggles.
pomelo / 5621 posts
DS is 4.5 and usually comes to our bed at some point in the night. He has ever since he was a baby. I like that first stretch of sleep but I love waking up to snuggles.
I love this post and hearing how you make it work.