Little Bug just turned two and while the time has flown, it has also been two of the hardest years of my life. He is such an amazing little boy, and I love him so much, but he is a very sensitive high needs child. It has been this way from the start, and while I actually enjoy some aspects of it, there are others that drive me crazy.
He is clingy, but really only to me. This started when he was about 8 weeks old and continues to this day. He only wants mama and he will cry and freak out if he can’t have me. It’s not so bad when I leave him, he settles down eventually, but when he knows I am around and he can’t have me, a meltdown is imminent. He seems to take things very seriously and feels his emotions deeply. I really do enjoy the incredible bond we have but there are times when I just want a break and I feel terrible when he wants me and I need some space.
Little Bug breaks down over the most minor things. If he can’t wear his boots, or if he wants something to be done a certain way and it isn’t, he loses it. And while tantrums are obviously normal, he takes it to a level that is almost frightening at times. He can maintain a crying tantrum for over an hour and if at any time during that hour he settles down and something else sets him off, it is back to the crying and screaming.
To me, it feels like he just has really big emotions, which is something I can relate to. I feel things deeply and I have a lot of empathy towards people. With Little Bug, I am really trying to find things that I can use during one of his freak outs to try to calm him down or distract him. The hardest thing for me is that it is exhausting having to try to negotiate with a two year old so often. I want him to be happy and secure, so I feel like with him, it will just take some extra patience to help him through these times.
Just reading his books and relaxing…
The good thing about Little Bug is that he is really social, he loves people, animals, playing, and just being a kid. These episodes of extreme reactions are frequent, but they do not seem to be affecting his overall disposition at this time. I am hoping that as he gets older and has more confidence and independence he will start to be able to control some of the reactions some times.
I remember with LeLe, it took about a year for her to be really independent. She was always really happy and confident, and her tantrums were more typical for her age range. It’s really hard not to compare the two kids, and I often find myself wondering if Little Bug will grow out of this soon, or if this is just going to be his personality for life. Either way, I’m fine and I’ll figure out how to parent him to help him with his emotional needs.
The bottom line is that he is a sweet sensitive soul and I have a bond with him that I can’t explain with words. He is so connected with me, and I would by lying if I said I didn’t love that aspect of our relationship. There is something so sweet about how much he loves me. I feel like this is one of the best parts of being a mama, having someone love you so unconditionally. He’s my little boy and I just love him so so much.
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
If your sensitive child is anything like mine, less negotiating will work better. I find DH who negotitates more and has more patience for her schnenegans gets more meltdowns. I feel that she starts to feel like she might “win” and then if it doesn’t go the way she thought it would, meltdown city.
blogger / grapefruit / 4836 posts
My little guy is sensitive too, and also feels all the feels with all of his being. It is really really hard sometimes. But he feels the joy just as intensely as the other stuff…so I try to take time to really remember and enjoy those times, because they keep me going. You are doing such a good job
blogger / apricot / 482 posts
I can’t figure out if my oldest is sensitive or spirited. After reading Raising Your Spirited Child, it seems that he fits many of the descriptors — but only the ones related to sensitivity. I think he is HIGHLY sensitive, but I’ve found that book to be really helpful and has given us some tools to work with his feelings.
blogger / kiwi / 626 posts
@Grace: I like this idea a lot. Right now I am trying to figure out what is actually important to him so I can use those things to help him. He’s just so all over the board when he is upset that I often don’t even know why he is upset.
@Mrs. Lion: You are so right about the joy part. When he is happy, he is ridiculously happy. His smile is beyond anything I have ever seen.
@Mrs. Dolphin: See, I think that LeLe is very spirited, and it is just different than how Little Bug reacts to things. LeLe has a very strong personality and big emotions, but I can reason with her, and I have figured out how to collaborate with her and that keeps her more even and happier. I am fairly certain that Little Bug is a highly sensitive child.
guest
I have a sensitive, high needs child as well. And for us, it has gotten easier! He just turned 4, and while those aspects of his personality are still there, they don’t come out as frequently. We still have a lot of meltdowns about shoe choice, but overall things have gotten better!
blogger / apricot / 431 posts
Girl, some aspects are very similar for us over here too! Baby Pizza was always super clingy with me. It has improved some in more recent months but still my more needy and clingy child. She is also the one that goes to both extremes as well (happy and angry) and cannot always be reasoned with like how my older one was at this age. It’s always so interesting to see how you can have two very different kids even though we raise them similarly….and trying to figure out how to respond to both children differently so they respond best but also trying to be “fair”….this parenting thing is never easy!