I remember writing a day in the life post for my personal blog, back when M was maybe two months old. It featured me frantically trying to get a shower all day long, in between running loads of laundry to the basement and tidying up the house. Thinking back on it now, with two month old A in the house, I can recognize how much I’m in second-time mom territory.
I aim to bathe every other day now if I can. I usually opt for baths and leave Mac Daddy with both the kids, feeling zero guilt, because I can get away for longer and have some me time while getting clean. Because I have a bath or shower at night now, I’m usually already covered in spit-up and other strange smells by the time morning rolls around, but at least my hair isn’t greasy — not that it matters, because I rock the messy bun every single day.
House chores? They happen in spurts, on a weekly basis rather than daily. If A is sleeping well and I feel like tackling a mess I’ll do it, but it’s no longer my priority. Three years of toddlerhood snapped me out of my clean all the things mentality before baby two arrived.
I am far more inclined to sit on the couch and watch Netflix while holding a sleeping baby, and I don’t feel bad about it this time. I’ve leaned into the idea that my maternity leave is for whatever has to happen that day, whether it’s getting out of the house for social time and fresh air, or vegging. I know I’m lucky to have such a long leave to explore every side of it! But as long as everyone starts the week with clean clothes, and I manage to feed myself a few times a day, and I get outside often enough to not have social anxiety every time I interact with a human, I’m good.
Who wouldn’t want to hang out with this kid, anyway?!
I’m also enjoying the confidence and ‘let it be’ attitude of being a second-time mom. I worried a lot, with M. I tracked feedings and diapers and hours of sleep and questioned just how much I was ruining her life every day. With A, I tracked diapers… never. I tracked feedings until he regained his birth weight. I don’t track sleep because I know full well that I don’t need the hard data on just how little sleep I’m actually getting at night.
At one of the playgroups we go to, most of the moms are at it for the first time. I see myself from three years ago in them — is my baby gaining weight, is she walking at the right age, should I be feeding her this kind of food? Sometimes I feel like they think I’m too zen — I got some funny looks when I told them I’ve never pureed food for my kid, ever — but man, is it ever freeing to not really care about whether or not you’re doing things right, because you know you’re doing just fine by yourself, your family, and your child.
If you’re a parent of more than one child, how was your experience different with the subsequent children? I felt like the initial introduction into parenthood was rockier with A, but that rocky period passed sooner than it did with M, and now we’re into a good groove much earlier than I was with my first!
guest
Omg I could have written this. Especially the part about most moms I’ve hung out with being first timers. One time I nursed the baby in the car with the door wide open with sweat pouring down me during a heat wave while the 3 year old slept in the stroller outside the car and I listened to the moms I was with stress about not being able to shower before nursing after swimming in creeks or putting on sunscreen. I didn’t bother mentioning everyone was alive and well after we’d slathered the toddler in Coppertone and Banana Boat when we forgot our “natural” sunscreen while swimming in a man-made lake with them a few days prior.
coconut / 8079 posts
I only have one LO so I have not experienced this yet (hopefully some day!), but just have to say your little guy is adorable!! That tie and little sweater…too cute!
guest
The other day I was taking 6-month-old baby#3 to a Saturday doctors appt. Our apt was first thing in the morning and the waiting room was full of first time mom’s who probably were discharged the day before bringing their brand new babies in for their weight checks. They all had these huge diaper bags full to the brim. Meanwhile I was feeling happy that I remembered to stuff an extra diaper in my purse.
cherry / 176 posts
So much less stressful the 2nd time around! I was also so obsessed with how much my first son was sleeping. If a night stretch was less than three hours I’d be so upset, if it was more than three, I’d be excited. So arbitrary. The second time around, I didn’t ever look at the clock in the night. Having two tiny children is really hard, but I always think the transition from zero to one was much harder!