I guess I’m behind the times because I didn’t really even know this was a term used to denote kids who are kept back in school for a year for one reason or another. A few weeks ago Scallop’s preschool teacher called us in to talk about keeping him back in preschool for another year. Scallop is young for his age, with an early August birthday. He’s also a mover and a shaker, and he likes to chat and tell stories A LOT. He’s been having some trouble being able to sit for any amount of circle time at school and tends to interrupt to tell his own stories at inappropriate times. These things, in general, don’t worry his teacher (she doesn’t really expect him to sit through all of circle time or be quiet for long periods of time), but her concern centers from the fact that his social-emotional levels are not on par with his peers. At this point in time, although there’s still a long way to go for this year, she’s recommending him to stay back for another year.

This was not a huge surprise to me, nor is it a huge disappointment to me. Mr. Oyster and I are fairly well aware of who Scallop is and the areas in which he seems younger than his peers at times. We love his school and his teachers and have no problem with him spending a bit more time there. I’m also slightly concerned with him going from 3, 3-hour school days a week, to 5, 7-hour kindergarten days a week. The district that we’re hoping to move to recently voted in full-day kindergarten, and it seems like a huge leap in time for him to be in school. Thus, staying an extra year in preschool and moving to 4, 3-hour days might give him a better adjustment period. Our only concern is that we believe he’s fairly smart and don’t want him to end up being bored as an older child in his grade.

So here are some of the things we’ve decided to consider as Scallop continues along this year of preschool. We won’t make a final decision until the end of the year, but it doesn’t hurt to keep thinking about things throughout.

  1. If he’s currently lagging behind his peers socially and emotionally, how will he be in middle or high school if he stays on this track?
  2. Will his confidence be better bolstered by spending a year in a place he knows and is comfortable in, or in a new place with new teachers and longer hours?
  3. Is it possible that he will be coded for something similar to ADHD if he has trouble moving into kindergarten next year?
  4. Does he have enough maturity to be empathetic with his peers?
  5. Does our (potential) district have the ability to challenge him if he does become bored as an older child in his grade?
  6. Are we ok with him potentially having to stay back in a later grade if he’s not acclimating well?
  7. Is it ME that’s not ready, or him?

For us, it’s really going to end up being about Scallop and what we think is best for him and his future – especially since we know what a hot-button issue this can be. And, like most parental choices, we’ll pick a direction and cross our fingers that it’s the right one.