Having a blended personality of one part Type-A and one part go with the flow has made the birth preparation process quite interesting for me. My fascination with birth runs deep and my goal is to have as an intervention-free of a birth as possible.

Planning for birth is kind of a weird thing to navigate. You can have lots of ideas and goals, you likely have lots of references to frame your belief system, and yet, you have no idea what to expect, and you cannot plan or really control the final outcome. So with that in mind, my road to birth has been equal parts setting forth an intention and mindset towards the ideal birth I would like to have and letting go of my over-planning tendencies and being open to the birth that will ultimately happen.

Setting an Intention

I have many layers of motivation when it comes to setting the intention for an intervention-free birth.

1) Healthy mama and baby – Focusing on the health of me, and our child is a motivator for experiencing the birth to unfold as my body intends. 

2) Love and fascination for the beauty of birth – I have watched countless birth videos over the years, am obsessed with birth stories and experiencing a vaginal birth as a woman is a huge desire and goal of mine.

3) Eyes on the future – Admittedly this is a bit lower on the priority list, but I have had a goal for quite some time to pursue becoming a doula. This will be a set focus/reminder in the thick of labour. I like that it’s outside of my birth and a focus that can help me help other women in the future. To be able to coach others, I’d like to be able to have experienced the birth I have set an intention for (of course, if things medically allow for it).

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4) Meeting a goal and challenging myself – When something is very important to me, my will power goes through the roof. Being able to stick it through the mental journey of birth and challenging myself in such a way that I’ve never experienced is another layer of this experience I’m looking forward to. What’s important here is knowing I’ve tried my very best.

5) Avoiding pharmaceuticals and surgery – I am always pretty apprehensive to take something beyond basic medication (we’re talking allergy meds or something for a bad headache). The idea of not being able to feel my legs or not being able to walk around freaks me out. The idea of recovering from major abdominal surgery also scares me. Acknowledging these fears helps me feel motivated to stay above them and focus on my ideal birth.

6) The chain of interventions – Interventions often lead to other interventions, and I would like to avoid that as much as possible.

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Letting Go

Now sunshine and roses and lovely birth stories aside I’m also realistic and logical (to an extent, ha!). Plans don’t always unfold as you anticipate and I would like to prepare myself by letting go and being open to whatever happens. So, to process all of the unknowns I have created tiered goals. Knowing that as long as the first two goals are met, I will be able to move forward feeling good and empowered about my birth story. If other goals are not met, I will certainly process it and work towards letting go, but realistically, meeting them is just a bonus.

1) Healthy mama and baby – Clearly this is number one here too. I’m not going to sacrifice or risk either of these. If an intervention is medically necessary, then I am absolutely on board.

2) Informed Consent – During one of the birth classes I’ve attended (more on that in another post), the doula told us that often how a mother feels after a birth is largely determined by her feeling as though she was part of the decision-making process and the ultimate outcome of her birth. I cannot really imagine a situation where I will not be involved in the decision of how things unfold, but this is an important reminder in letting go of how things will unfold. I (and my husband) will be part of the decisions that need to be made.

3) Vaginal birth – The rest of my tiered goals allow me to kind of let go knowing that if they do not happen it’s because something outside of my control determined the outcome. I will admit to having many fears associated with a cesarean. Surgery really scares me, and the recovery process while navigating being a new parent is a mountain I’d like to avoid climbing if at all possible. I have the utmost respect for any woman that has had a cesarean. I will certainly be disappointed if I end up needing to have one, but knowing my first two most important goals are met will remind me that it’s okay.

4) Being able to go into labour naturally –  Being able to go into labour naturally is another goal of mine. I’d like to feel my body get there on its own. I’d like to labour at home as long as possible and experience that first stage of labour with all of the crazy emotions that go along with it.

5) As little intervention as necessary – If the only interventions that have occurred are necessary then I will be happy. This will mean I’ve been able to meet my personal goals and overcome the mental challenges associated with birth.

6) No interventions – Next, obviously would mean that my birth was completely intervention-free and no interventions were medically necessary. This is a goal I would like to meet, because if I hit this tier – I would like to pursue a home birth for my next child.

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Did your birth go as you intended? Any advice on preparing for  birth?