This topic is loaded for me. I have worked really hard over the last seven+ months to shift my perspective from bitter to grateful on this one… but there is still a part of me that sees a flaw in the system.

The topic? Maternity leave for small business owners in Canada.

I’ve been working as a consultant from home for seven years now, and the majority of that time has fallen into the self-employed window. There was a small pocket of two years where a project became so large I was actually employed through it, but when it came to an end I was left with a fork in the road. Would I look for a job or start my own consulting business? I actually applied for several perfect-for-me jobs, but in the end, felt like the consulting world chose me.

Working from home and being self-employed certainly has its many perks. I have a very flexible schedule, and while it’s kind of the perfect job to have with older children, I knew it would be challenging in the early years. I spent a lot of time soul searching before I decided to take a leap and start my business.

Now, many self-employed business owners do have access to the oh so lovely one year Canadian maternity leave… if they have a corporation and are employed through it, or decide to opt into Employment Insurance (EI)*. Without going into a big lesson on EI, as a self-employed business owner you don’t have to pay into EI like every employee does, because you can’t access the same typical benefits. This program is mostly used by those who get laid off seasonally or lose their jobs suddenly. It’s also the program that pays for maternity and parental leaves.

The issue is, when you decide to opt in to EI as a small business owner, you are opted in for the remainder of your career. And, unlike those who can leave their jobs for a year and return to the same position… after a year, I’m not sure if my business would still be there (or it would take a long time to rebuild). If I decided to work part-time I would have to pay back my benefits. So, in an ideal world I would likely take something like 8-12 weeks off, and then go back to work.

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So, to opt into something like this, and only use a small number of the weeks available to me… it wouldn’t pay off. I read somewhere once that I would have to have three to four children to break even. Thanksbutnothanks.

I am disappointed that the system doesn’t offer support for self-employed women, and the realities that come with being a business owner. The option available to us doesn’t encourage, it deters.

So, where does that leave me and Mr. M? 

Watching my friends around me enjoy a full year off with their children is reality I’ll never have. I did fall into a bit of a feel sorry for myself funk over this fact as we discussed starting a family, but eventually shook out of it, because we are so fortunate that my husband can take a parental leave.

Mr. M is an employee, and thus has the option to take a parental leave. Fathers/partners can only take up to 37 weeks of leave, as the beginning (or first 18 weeks) of the one year leave is called pregnancy leave. While, at this point we think he will likely only take six of the nine months, we will make an actual return to work date decision closer to the actual time.

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Mr. M with his nephew – August 2014

While I will be able to take some personal (unpaid) time off when the baby comes, my goal is to return to work slowly as soon as I am ready. It will be a lot to manage and navigate through in the early days with breastfeeding, sleepless nights and recovery… but I know once we get over that initial hump, this scenario will be so worth it.

The opportunity for us to both be home in the first six months of our child’s life is priceless. Had I been able to take a leave, Mr. M wouldn’t have been able to, and so for that I’m grateful. I’m excited he gets the opportunity many fathers cannot take, and while I have to manage my work day, clients and projects with a newborn, he’ll be there to help make that happen.

In a culture where every mother seems to get a year off, I’ve gotten a few side-eyes over our situation; however, I know this is the option that will work the best for our family. I’m excited to be able to navigate and learn along side my husband as we transition into parenthood.

What does parental leave look like in your family and where you live? 

*This varies by province.