Hellobee

One of the most important things to me as far as parenting goes is that Mr. Cereal have a really solid relationship with the kids. I don’t expect him to be super dad or anything like that, but I do expect that he is someone that they find comfort in and that they love very much. It’s hard when they are really little because the daddy role is that of relief pitcher so I can get a break, but now that LeLe is older, I see their relationship blossoming and it is really amazing.

Mr. Cereal and LeLe’s first photo together.

Sometimes I think LeLe prefers Mr. Cereal.  This is fine with me (sad face), mostly because I want for her what I felt like I never had with my dad growing up. She asks where daddy is about a million times a day and never seems satisfied by the, “Daddy’s at work,”answer. When he does come home from work it is the best part of her day. Quite simply, she adores him.

LeLe’s first trip to the beach.  Mr. Cereal spent a good hour running after her.

It is especially important for me that Mr. Cereal and LeLe are close because I know how much I missed having a relationship like that with my father. It is tough for a kid to want more from a parent and I am determined not to let that be the case with LeLe and Mr. Cereal, or with Little Bug and Mr. Cereal. How do we think we can do this? We’ve had a number of conversations that have involved our parenting plan as individuals and as a team. For Mr. Cereal, he has a few simple things he wants to accomplish.

1. Just be Daddy. Neither of us had this and because of that, it is really important. We want LeLe to rely on Mr. Cereal and we want her to feel safest with him (or me) and to never feel like she wants more love from us. To me, Daddy means more of the loving caring father aspect. Mr. Cereal has this down and it is amazing to watch him Daddy.
2. Spend individual time with both kids. We both want to make sure that LeLe and Little Bug get time with each of us alone so they feel like we are giving them our full attention. I facilitate this by taking one of the kids on my errands on Saturday mornings and Mr. Cereal hangs out and does something with the other.  During the week, we often split bath time so that one of us gets time with each baby.
3. Listen to them. This one is one that we both keep each other accountable for. With so much of our lives being consumed by electronic devices, we’ve had to be really conscious about removing that distraction so we are really listening and engaging with the kids. I gently remind Mr. Cereal to put down his phone, and he does the same with my kindle.
4. Encourage learning and exploring. Mr. Cereal is amazing at encouraging LeLe to try new things.  He is great at teaching her new things, especially things that I wouldn’t have even thought to teach her. LeLe loves this time with Mr. Cereal and I love watching it.
5. Show them what it is to love. This is by far the most important thing to me. I want both of my kids to see what a loving relationship is like so they have something to model it after. I think it is especially important for LeLe to see that her parents really love each other. I want her to see that a great relationship is built from friendship and trust and humor. Most importantly, I want her to see what a healthy relationship looks like. Mr. Cereal is my best friend and my most trusted person in my life.  I want LeLe to see that this is what she should strive for when she starts getting into relationships.
6. Family is important. Mr. Cereal likes to put an emphasis on our small family unit. He likes to carve out time for family activities and it is especially important to him that holidays are celebrated at home rather than elsewhere. I appreciate this because I hated going to a million houses as a kid during the holidays and I love that we have committed to celebrating in our own element.

There are some days where I see Mr. Cereal being Daddy and it literally makes my heart melt into a puddle. He is a great father and I am lucky to have a partner who is so invested in his kids.