A few weeks ago, I had a conversation with a friend who was thinking about having a baby.  She wasn’t sure when she wanted to TTC because she knew her life would drastically change once she had a baby. As we chatted, I was reminded of how I struggled through the same thoughts before I had Lil’ Pizza and Baby Pizza.

We were about two years into our marriage when Mr. Pizza started to show more of a desire to start a family. I always loved kids and knew I wanted a family, but I remember not wanting to start a family just yet. I told Mr. Pizza exactly when I wanted to TTC. The funny thing is, I was asking him to wait just a couple more months. Still, I needed those few months to process how a baby would change my life and what I would miss most about my baby-free life.

It was still before the time I wanted to TTC when my period was late. I know I sound horrible, but I was actually upset with the possibility of being pregnant. Days before I took the pregnancy test, I started to reflect on the changes ahead and why I was so sad about it. The test ended up being negative which brought great relief to me (and a bit of sadness for Mr. Pizza).  However, the short period of time that I really reflected on how a baby would impact my life helped me to have a genuine desire and readiness for a baby.

Here is what I felt like was going to change: (I know some things are pretty silly, but it’s what came to mind during that time):

– Work: I loved my full time job.  Mr. Pizza and I decided that once we had a baby, I would return to work part time. With that decision, my role and responsibilities were going to change which I was sad about.

– Dancing:  I know this sounds REALLY random but I love to dance. And while I didn’t even go out dancing much, I felt like if I became a mom, I would have to dance differently. I told you, some of the things I was thinking about were really silly!

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– Traveling:  I knew that once we had kids, traveling would be different. When Mr. Pizza and I traveled, we would pack in as much as activities as we could, eat lots of good food (nonstop) and do adventurous things.

– Sleep: I LOVE to sleep.  I loved going into work a little later so I could sleep a little longer. I loved sleeping in on Saturday mornings. I loved spontaneous naps. And I knew saying goodbye to good sleep was going to be hard!

– Friendships:  I wasn’t exactly sure how my friendships would change, but I knew it would be impacted in some way.

– Date nights:  It would be rare and we would no longer be able to spontaneously go out whenever we felt like it or when there was nothing good to eat at home.

– Marriage: I knew it would be harder to connect at times with kids running around and more tasks to get done around the house.

– Me time: This included basically anything I liked to do, whether it was shopping, napping, hanging out with friends, or just time to myself.

This is how having a baby actually impacted me:

– Work: I think this was one of the biggest changes that I struggled with. As a full time child life specialist, I worked with pediatric oncology patients and their families and was grateful to have a job where I could support families throughout their treatment. When I returned to work after Lil’ Pizza was born, I was part time and worked with kids who were going in for surgery instead. It was a change in my role that I wasn’t completely wanting at the time, but my priorities shifted and so my mindset changed too. Being part time ended up working out great for our family and I enjoyed being able to have days where I worked, and also days that I stayed home with Lil’ Pizza. I ended up going from part time to then a SAHM once I got pregnant with Baby Pizza, but more on that in a future post. I’ve learned to embrace this period in my life where I am staying at home with my kids because I know they won’t be this young forever.

– Dancing: I still love to dance and I am only really able to dance at weddings, but I still make sure to have a good time. A mom can still have fun dancing.

– Traveling: The way I plan our travels is much different now. Instead of packing in as much as I can, I would much rather focus on doing one main activity a day and keep the rest of the day low key. The types of attractions we want to see also have changed to be more kid-friendly. While it’s different, it’s still fun and enjoyable. Like when we went to Disneyland in California, I had so much fun seeing Lil’ Pizza wide-eyed and so excited about all the rides. Traveling with kids is definitely more tiring though.

– Sleep: Oh, I miss sleep but I can’t even sleep in even if I wanted to because my body has adjusted to waking up early and sleeping less. Spontaneous naps after a tiring day are difficult to squeeze in (actually almost impossible) unless you’re like me and you like to take naps at night when you should really just go to sleep for the night. Now, I just dream of sleeping in…

– Friendships: As soon as I was pregnant, I feel like I was welcomed into a group of mommy friends. These friends have supported me as a new mom in so many ways. I am lucky to also have friends, who even though they don’t have kids just yet, love my kids and don’t get tired of my texts with pictures of my kids. Of course it’s also nice to talk about other things besides kids too!

– Date nights:  While we don’t go out much together, we stay in a lot together. Hopefully once the kids are a bit easier to put down (and I am more comfortable with letting someone else put them down for the night), we’ll be able to go out more. Date nights are often reserved for the important days like birthdays and anniversaries.

– Marriage: Having kids can be a distraction from wanting to work on your marriage, but I have to remind myself that a good marriage is key to a happy family. Issues you had before kids often only get amplified. Learning to communicate well with each other is key!

– Me time: It’s strange but when I am out by myself, I often look forward to being at home again with my family. Still, Me time is still much needed and I make sure to treasure that time.

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Life with kids is definitely a game changer, and I admit there are times I miss life before kids. But now, life feels more full with my kids. The idea of family seems more complete and I honestly wouldn’t want it any other way.

Did you have a similar experience where you were struggling with the idea of the changes that were inevitably going to happen once you have kids? And did it turn out the way you were expecting it to?