Mr. Cereal and I decided shortly after my daughter LeLe was born that we did not really want to post photos of her on Facebook or Instagram. I felt weird about putting a bunch of photos on the internet that anyone could look at, and Mr. Cereal is extremely private and was pretty adamant that we limit the amount of exposure our children would have on the internet. This has been a hard task to do because I would love for everyone in the world to see how adorable my kids are, but we want to protect their privacy as well. And to be completely honest, I think that I would go completely crazy if I were unleashed and I would post a million photos of my kids.
I didn’t announce my pregnancy on any social media, but when LeLe was born, I posted one photo of her with a birth announcement. Shortly after that a friend of mine posted on her Facebook that a photo of her son had been taken from her blog and used on a child abuse website without her permission. This really freaked me out and I immediately went into my Facebook account to make sure that the photos I posted were private and that they couldn’t be shared. I also culled my friend list, narrowing it down to people I would be comfortable sharing a photo of LeLe with in real life.
I still occasionally post photos of the kids on my Facebook page, but I usually delete them later to try to insure that they are kept as private as possible. As I said before, it is really hard to NOT share photos. We’ve run into a few problems with family members posting photos of LeLe or Little Bug on their Facebook or Instagram pages, and I’ve had a couple of really uncomfortable conversations about why we want to keep them as private as possible. Family members are the hardest because for some reason, they feel like they have the right to post photos, even when we have asked them not to. The one caveat of this is that we get professional photos done of both the kids and I do allow the photographer to post some photos of them, but this is more about allowing her to show her profession. Plus, these are all watermarked.
At some point, LeLe and Little Bug will probably want to have a social media presence, but that will be up to them as far as timing. I know that for me, I would rather not have my awkward phase (all of late elementary school and all of middle school) photos all over the internet for my embarrassment now, so I will try to gently guide them into a time that is appropriate and safe. Maybe by the time they are old enough, the privacy settings will be even more stringent and I won’t have to worry quite as much. And maybe they will want to be “friends” with their boring parents.
guest
I’m in the same boat as you are… my husband is very private and I would love to share some of photos of our baby when he comes in December. But I agree that I think it’s safer to protect their privacy and innocence until they are older to decide. I think we will post a photo of his birth and occasionally a photo here and there. We both have a lot of friends who are not local and would love to show them funny moments or how he’s growing. I’m also worried about family members understanding where we come from. I have casually mentioned it but I think they just think it’s not a big deal.
pomegranate / 3393 posts
I’m with you! I didn’t announce pregnancy on fb, then after DS was born, I only shared a few pictures there, often deleting them after a while. After a year or so I deactivated my fb all together. Now I have a private instagram account with 14 followers, all close real life friends. I still feel funny posting pictures of him on there sometimes! Our family has been really good about not putting photos of him on fb either. I just don’t want to take the ultimate decisions about privacy and online presence away from him!
cantaloupe / 6751 posts
I hope you don’t take my question the wrong way, but how do you differentiate between writing blog posts and sharing stories about your children versus sharing photographs of them? To me, it seems like both methods would get your child’s presence “out there” on social media. Why limit just photographs, but share personal stories?
Hope this question doesn’t offend! I’m genuinely curious
apple seed / 1 posts
We do the same. We don’t post photos of our almost 3 year old son’s face and we don’t post his name. He goes by The Supernatural Bear. I didn’t post my pregnancy online either. The thing that boggles my mind is the amount of people that question it ( parents and non parents). We are doing what is right for our family. Our actions were validated after watching an episode of Law And Order SVU showing how pedophiles use photos of children from the internet. (It is a tv show but the do use real events and situations as inspiration) Harmless photos like class photos. If you are close enough to be part of our inner circle then you will be sent photos upon request or better yet visit us/we visit you so you can see him.
Pedophiles/predators love to use the internet as a tool to collect data to appear to have same interests, to know your schedules and other information before attempting anything. Why make it easy.
The internet is forever.
blogger / kiwi / 626 posts
@pinkcupcake: Not offended at all. It’s a valid question. I think for me, the difference is that I am posting anonymously here and I did on my personal blog too. I never reveal specific facts, like where we live or their real names. And I don’t use my or my husband’s real names either. In fact, I didn’t tell any of my family members or friends that I was writing in my personal blog or here. I am very proud to be a blogger here, but I won’t sacrifice my family’s privacy by posting revealing information or photos.
cherry / 163 posts
Bravo! We made the decision not to post pictures of our child on social media and it has been the best possible choice for us! I even ask professional photographers not to post “sneak peeks” or photos on social media and they have been totally understanding! Family was a little sad I’d say at first but have come around and I don’t regret it for a second!
guest
My husband and I also made the decision not to post photos of our daughter online. However, we do not stop our friends and family from doing so; my mom could never handle that!
I broke the rule once: the day the Supreme court announced their gay marriage decision, my daughter happened to be wearing a rainbow dress. I have so many gay friends who I knew would love to see that coincidence, so I posted a photo on Facebook. Well, my whiny SIL was so “offended” that she called my MIL to complain and there was a whole brouhaha in my husband’s conservative family. Okay, then! No more Facebook photos for me!