Baby Carrot is nearly 19 months old, and these days, she is obsessed with all things Elmo. A few months ago, she asked for Elmo out of nowhere – I assume she must have seen a show or a few at daycare – and since then, Elmo has slowly but surely taken over our house.
Yup, that’s an Elmo doll, puzzle and guitar
She also recognizes Mickey (Mick-Mick, as she calls him) and Minnie, and as she approaches her 2nd birthday and beyond, I imagine she’s going to start pointing to princess t-shirts and Minnie Mouse cups more frequently. Although it seems popular these days to knock down the commercialism of childhood – the “princess” culture, the branding of everything from diapers to vitamins to appeal to kids from infancy, the white knight/boy-saves-girl fairy tales and Disney-fied/princess-ified everything, I’ve decided I’m not only going to embrace this stage, I’m going to love it ’till its last drop.
I grew up in Russia, before the Soviet Union collapsed. I didn’t get my first Barbie or exposure to a Disney character until I moved to the US at the age of 12. For much longer than it was socially acceptable, I adored all things Disney and pink, and even today, at the ripe old age of 33, I continue said adoration (though I gave up my Little Mermaid backpack in eighth grade). I have an Eeyore mug, a pink Minnie Mouse sweatshirt acquired at Disneyland proper just recently (on a visit with two fellow adults!), and a big part of my everyday job involves sharing my love of famous characters like Doc McStuffins, Elmo and Spongebob with millions of kids around the country and the world.
Social norms seem to snap kids out of the fantasy world a lot faster these days – I remember getting teased mercilessly on my first day of 6th grade when I showed up with the aforementioned Little Mermaid backpack, not knowing as an immigrant that its coolness factor expired years ago, but these days it seems that it’s way cooler to carry Taylor Swift’s face on a backpack instead of Ariel’s even in second grade (from what I can see in the school bus line, anyway). Which means that there’s likely a very short window of time for my daughter to enjoy the magical and the fantastical before they become uncool, and what I learned as a latecomer to this world of childhood commercialism that most American kids grow up with, is that it’s really worth making the most of it before it goes away for good.
These days, as we begin to enter the super independent, impatient, prone-to-tantrums stage, Elmo is helping me teach valuable lessons to my toddler. He’s on her diapers, so she talks to him or names the other Sesame Street characters while I change her, instead of wiggling around and making it really hard to get a new diaper on. Elmo goes “night night” a little earlier than she does, so that she can focus on dinner and getting ready for bed, and he “waits” for her at daycare when she doesn’t want to put her shoes on in the morning. Given that Baby C is still learning the world around her, having such a recognizable, relatable character is setting a great example for her to follow.
A lot of parents dread the princess stage. The number of articles, blogs and books written about the evils of princess culture is endless. While I’ve read them all and can see their point, I personally dread explaining why my daughter should really wear more clothing than Taylor Swift does on stage, once she gets to that point, than I do negating the “helpless girl focused on prettiness” messages in fairy tales and cartoons. A few years ago, before we even planned for kids, my husband and I were at Disneyworld and he discovered the Bibbdi Bobbidi Boutiques for the first time. I remember very distinctly him proclaiming them everything that is wrong with society today. Yesterday, we saw a young girl in a princess dress and makeup in a grocery store, and he admitted, not at all reluctantly, that if our daughter asks to have the same experience, he would let her. And so would I, because she has just a little bit of time to embrace her inner princess before peer pressure tells her that it’s no longer OK.
I don’t believe that reading about Cinderella waiting for rescue is going to make my child any less independent or less bright. I don’t think that playing with pink Legos, which she was recently gifted, is going to make her any less interested in building towers. Thankfully, there are enough resources – from books with positive messages for girls, to a growing focus on toys that are more gender neutral and inclusive, to more focus on balance and empowerment in kid-focused movies – to balance out some of the more dated morals in fairy tales. And if branding my kid’s food pouch and vitamins with familiar characters is going to get her to eat, then I’m all for it. I realize that this is all sales tactics and marketing, and soon enough I’m going to have to drag a screaming kid out of a store when I say that she can’t have Mickey-branded potato chips, but I consider it a small price to pay for a little bit of magic for a short bit of time in her childhood.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
It’s amazing how our thoughts and ideas change once we have kids. I wanted nothing to do with branding when my daughter was born but she too started asking for Elmo and got SO excited when she saw him on things, we couldn’t help but add him to our house. Now we have Mickey and Minnie and Anna and Elsa in our house and honestly, I couldn’t be happier. I’m also just going to embrace the branding but still put my foot down on Frozen branded gummy treats that cost 300x more than the regular ones.
I love your felt Christmas tree.
blogger / apricot / 378 posts
Amen! I love this post and I totally agree with you. I grew up obsessed with all things Disney Princess, and I wouldn’t say that I’m any less independent or confident than people who weren’t interested. I think that as long as conversations happen about how it’s not real, it’s a fairy tale, etc. there’s nothing wrong with embracing a bit of commercialism sometimes!
blogger / nectarine / 2043 posts
@mediagirl: I wish I could take credit for the tree, I actually got it at Target thanks to @Mrs. Garland’s post about it, after multiple failed attempts of my own at making one.
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We called this the Christmas of Elmo. We had one going in, now have five, plus a backpack, and an ice pack. He wakes up saying, Elmo, Elmo.
grapefruit / 4923 posts
thanks for this perspective, i really enjoyed reading it.
persimmon / 1096 posts
As he drifts off to sleep in his crib every night, J usually says a few of his favorite words / which is super cute to hear through the monitor. Admittedly, my favorite is Mama – but hearing him say “Elmo” as he falls asleep (or his version of “Olaf”) is very sweet. I don’t worry or care at all about branding. I try to keep the character toys confined to his playroom and the built-in cabinets so it’s not a cartoon explosion throughout our house, but I do think it’s a magical part of childhood!
grapefruit / 4400 posts
Great post– I agree with you wholeheartedly. C is getting old enough to have a preference towards what she wears, and if she wants an Elsa shirt with a Minnie Mouse skirt and Peppa Pig shoes, I’m all for it. I’d rather have a kid dressed like a kid than a old man/hipster.
kiwi / 511 posts
Great post and I agree about the whole princess thing if your child embraces it then it won’t be the end of the world. I think people (in general) focus too much on one thing to be the so called boogie man. I adored clothes and make up as a kid, and would cut apart the Sears catalog when they had the wedding section to make different dresses so they would be what I wanted. Fast forward several years, I got married in my mid 30s, hardly wear make up and have a job and am very smart. And most importantly I can identify Fantasy from Reality!
@habesbabe I love your line about having a kid dressed as a kid than an old man/hipster. That is so perfect.
My kids won’t be kids forever so I want to see them embrace the fun and joy that is there because they will be forced to grow up faster than I want them too.
pomelo / 5621 posts
Great post. Kids don’t get to be kids for long, so letting them enjoy characters while they do is fun.
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
I really like this post. We aren’t quite at the ‘character’ stage yet, but I know its coming (she knows Elmo and Cookie Monster already). But her pink Duplo blocks are waiting for her, as are the Disney Princess Little People, and frankly, I think they’re awesome. There’s definitely a fine line to be drawn between childlike enjoyment of princesses and characters, and flat-out marketing to kids to make money. I’m sure it will be a challenge for us in the years to come.
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
We so weren’t going to do characters, but somehow I have a Mickey addict on my hands. But I’ve decided to roll with it – t-shirts, shows, and stuffed animals. Thanks for reminding me it’s ok!
blogger / pomelo / 5400 posts
3/4ths of my son’s gifts involved “Planes: Fire & Rescue” this year. Pre-motherhood me would have been horrified. But he’s happy as a clam, and that’s what matters to me.
blogger / pomegranate / 3044 posts
Great post! I used to be more anti-characters but I now just try to let him embrace what he likes
pomegranate / 3845 posts
Love love this!!!
I hate all the anti-Disney, anti-princess sentiment. My childhood was full of Disney, Sesame Street, princesses, etc. and it was wonderful! I won’t deprive LO of the same magic!
apricot / 425 posts
Amen! Kids are kids for only so long…. we’re embracing it for all it’s worth. There will be plenty of time late for boyfriends, clothing choices, and other grownup nonsense.
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
Great post. Juliet recently fell in love with La La (what she calls Elmo) and its so darling to hear her get so excited and call him when she sees him. I loved Disney and princesses as a child and admit I am a bit of a head in the cloud dreamer to this day when it comes to love stories and things like that but whats wrong with that? We all like to dream whether we are four or forty four, whats life without some dreams and fantasy afterall.
coffee bean / 38 posts
Honestly I see more evils in censoring a child’s interests. As adults we see things so differently. All disney princess movies have positive teachable moments, one of which directly comes to mind when reading this post. Sleeping Beauty’s father saw spinning wheels as a threat to his daughter’s future so he burned them all rather than explaining to her why they were dangerous. Not letting children have this phase is comparable – the undeniable fascination of the forbidden fruit will make them want it all the more!