I knew well before I gave birth to Little Oats that I would need to be on the lookout for PPD. I’ve dealt with depression and anxiety for the majority of my life, and I remained on a mild dose of antidepressants throughout my pregnancy. Screening tests at the midwife gave me a high likelihood of PPD, and by the time I had gone through the emotional ups and downs of a long labour, I would have written myself a prescription if I could.
By three days postpartum, the crying was nonstop. Not Little Oats’ crying…mine. Everything set me off, and I found that as soon as it started to get dark outside, I got an overwhelming sense of foreboding. Any new mama is going to struggle with exhaustion and emotions, but this was just the beginning of something much darker.
Late one night, as I was walking Little Oats in circles trying to calm her down, an image flashed through my brain. ‘What if I dropped her?‘ I gripped her extra tight, now carefully watching each of my steps to make sure I didn’t stumble or fall.
Later in the week, as I was coming down the stairs, I got a vivid picture in my head of slipping down the stairs. It wouldn’t go away, and I was nauseous, panicked and absolutely terrified that something might happen to Little Oats.
This continued to happen at various points during the day. I won’t share some of the more disturbing scenarios I imagined; they still haunt me to this day. I was never afraid that I would hurt Little Oats, but there was a deep-seated fear that something out of my control would happen. I couldn’t leave the house, because I was worried about driving with her. I couldn’t make myself lunch while holding her, for fear of spilling something on her or dropping her. Every time I panicked about something, I scolded myself. What was wrong with me that I couldn’t be a normal human being? Was this the ‘postpartum psychosis’ that is whispered about behind closed doors and in the most gruesome of newspaper articles?
At the same time, I was sinking deeper and deeper into a depression. As it got dark outside, I would dread the upcoming night, knowing that I couldn’t just crawl into bed and go to sleep. During the day, the endless repetition of eat-play-eat-maybe sleep-eat some more was dragging me down. I would cry as Mr. O left for work in the morning, and stare at Little Oats, wondering what on earth she did to deserve a defective mama.
At one of my follow up appointments with my midwife, I shared some of my worries, the panic attacks and the crying jags. I knew it was beyond the baby blues, but at the same time, I didn’t know what to do to help myself.
She instantly recommended that I increase my dose of antidepressants, knowing that I had success with the same medication in the past. I agreed to do so, but also took her advice to schedule a follow up with my family doctor.
My family doctor was less than helpful. He had me rate myself on the postpartum depression scale, barely listened to my concerns about my pervasive thoughts, and wrote me a prescription for a heavy duty anti-anxiety medication. It was not safe for breastfeeding, and he told me I could take until the end of the week to fully wean Little Oats before starting to take it (she was three months old). Having dealt with a good deal of medications in the past, I knew there had to be an alternative. I wasn’t comfortable giving up a successful breastfeeding relationship when I’d only been given one option. Since my doctor refused to talk about other methods of treatment, I booked an appointment with my naturopath.
After a few meetings and emails back and forth with my naturopath, we had a course of action mapped out. I would continue taking my antidepressants, but we would use alternative medicines to help combat the worst of the anxiety. Through a combination of mega-dose Vitamin D, some homeopathics, and B-complex vitamins, I began to feel better. The pervasive thoughts vanished, I wasn’t devastated each time Mr. O left the house, and I began to venture outside.
At almost a year post-partum, anxiety and depression are still a very real part of my life. I will most likely be on my medication for the long term, but that’s okay. I’m not less of a person for needing some help. The anxiety creeps up on me, especially surrounding new situations. My heart breaks a little, knowing I wished away so many of those precious newborn days. And at the same time I am grateful for how quickly I was able to get my symptoms under control.
If you’re struggling with pervasive thoughts, panic, or anything that seems out of the ordinary (ie not just the baby blues), please seek help. Whether it’s medication, counselling, or alternative therapies, know that you are not alone. If we talk about postpartum mood disorders, the stigma will have to vanish. We are still wonderful mothers, despite our deepest worries and fears.
papaya / 10473 posts
You are so incredibly brave for sharing this. The grips of PPD/PPA were devastating for me, but I didn’t get help for so long thinking things like “Oh, its just hormonal”, or “Oh, all moms worry”. Thank you for sharing your experience so that others can recognize it sooner and feel less stigmatized.
pomelo / 5220 posts
Thank you for sharing this with us. xo.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
Thank you for sharing… I have mild, one-off thoughts like getting in car accident with my child in it, and those scare me to death, so I can only imagine how much worse it is when thoughts like that are constantly running through your mind. Hugs.
coconut / 8079 posts
Thank you so much for sharing this! Such a brave post to write and I know it will help many people.
pomegranate / 3388 posts
Thank you so much for sharing. Your description of your PPD symptoms is so identical to my own that I am tearing up thinking of them right now. In my case, it was even scarier, since I had never experienced depression or severe anxiety before, so I didn’t really know what was happening. I was lucky in that there was an outpatient intensive treatment program specifically for women with PPD just 15 minutes away from my house, and I was quickly enrolled. I also responded very well to small amounts of antidepressants.
blogger / kiwi / 675 posts
Beautiful post. Thank you for sharing this.
pomegranate / 3225 posts
Thank you so much for sharing. Occasionally the thoughts creep in and it is so scary!
grapefruit / 4441 posts
Thanks so much for sharing. Were you able to see a therapist? If not, I think it’s definitely worth trying (and sometimes you have to try more than one).
blogger / honeydew / 7081 posts
@78h2o: in this case, I didn’t see a therapist. But I have been to several, and I have one in particular I know I could go back to in the future.
blogger / kiwi / 588 posts
Thank you for sharing your experience. I am sure it will be of help for other mothers going through the same thing.
grapefruit / 4089 posts
Posts like this are so real and important. Thank you for sharing!
pomelo / 5326 posts
Thanks so much for sharing such an important issue with everyone. You are a wonderful mother and K is a lucky little girl to have you in her life.
pear / 1849 posts
Thank you for sharing. I also suffered from severe PPD and feel like I missed out on the newborn days. Thank you for putting this out there for others to read and know they are not alone.
kiwi / 558 posts
Thank you for this post! I’ve been waiting for something like this since I first joined HB last year. I never knew how bad PPD could be and a year after LO was born I’m still figuring it out. Medication had helped and seeing a therapist specifically for PPD is good too. Thanks again for your post!
blogger / apricot / 335 posts
Oh man, I can totally feel you on this. I totally had it bad too but didn’t seek medication because it was just ANOTHER thing to take care of. I think for next time (IF there’s a next time!) I will totally be on this and ask to take something mild. It was such hell having all those scenarios playing in my head over and over, especially when I was trying to sleep! But so glad to hear you got over it… at least the worst is just a memory now. Mothers go through so much!!
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
I understand. PPD is horrible and I’m glad you were able to find a treatment plan and relief.
blogger / pomegranate / 3491 posts
You are brave to share your story and I am so glad you did, as there are so many others out there who have felt alone in your shoes. Glad you have found ways to regain balance in your life.
hostess / watermelon / 14932 posts
guest
Your post totally hit home for me. I went through a similar situation, having terrible thoughts, constantly unraveling, and sobbing when my husband would leave for work. There were times that I wish we had not had our little girl. I wish it hadn’t taken me so long to get help, because once I did everything changed for the better.
GOLD / grapefruit / 4555 posts
Oh sweets, have I been there. I’m so glad you got help when I didn’t and I should have. I made my life so much harder than it had to be because of my feelings and not acknowledging them as ‘not in the realm of normal’. Thank you for sharing and hugs!
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
Oh man! I can’t believe your family doctor!
I’m so, so glad you got the help you needed! I definitely didn’t have PPD (or post- adoption depression either), BUT I am prone to both anxiety and depression, especially in relation to infertility stuff. And I’m with you that those B & D -vitamins are so important!
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
thank you so much for sharing this…hugs.
guest
Thanks for sharing this. I have been looking through all the blogs for people talking about PPD/PPA and about medication in particular. It sounds like you stayed on your medication through your pregnancy and that was ok? I have been getting conflicting advice. Were you on meds while breastfeeding? There needs to be a blog about this!