My younger sister and I are 6 years apart. While we are close now, it wasn’t always this way. In fact, for most of our childhood, I was the mean, bossy older sister and my sister was the annoying little sister. With the way our schools were laid out grade-wise, we never even attended the same school and 6 years seemed ages and worlds apart.

Me and my sister, circa 1989 — look at how bossy I was even in this picture holding back her permed hair so you could see my face!

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I once nannied for a family that had 4 children, with 2 years between each sibling. They were the cutest set of brothers and sisters ever and played so well with each other, especially with the sibling directly older or younger than them. I still keep in touch with them via FB, and it seems they are all great friends now in their teens and twenties. With that experience and the experience of watching my own friends that had siblings closer in age to them, I’ve always thought that a two or three year difference between siblings would be ideal. It would be close enough for the children to grow up as friends, but also far enough apart where they could also have their own friends and interests apart from one another. I appreciate the fact that with a 2-3 year age difference, there would be some overlap in schooling, particularly in high school and college, which would mean that the kids might be able to relate to one another and help each other out (and protect each other from high school meanies!). Again, this is what seems ideal and would all happen in a perfect world — I know plenty of siblings that are 2-3 years apart and didn’t get along through their adolescent years!

Well, you know what they say about the best-laid plans, right? Try as we might have to time things just so in order for Lil’ CB and a younger sibling to be between 2-3 years apart, those plans did indeed go astray. When we first submitted our application for a second adoption, we thought that our referral would come within a few months, the way the timing was with Lil’ CB’s process. But, delays and 14 long months later, we received a referral nearly a year later than we had originally anticipated. Of course, we are overjoyed at our recent news (and thank you so very much for your sweet, kind, and encouraging words and for celebrating with us!), and know that of course, things worked out the way they did because our Lil’ Cowgirl was meant to be our daughter! But, we are now looking at a 3 year and 9 month difference between our little ones, which also translates into a difference of 4 grade levels.

It’s definitely not a huge deal nor one that I am at all sad about, but it does make me think about what things might look like once Lil’ CG comes home in the next two years. By then, Lil’ CB will be a full-fledged school-aged kid, probably in first grade, and Lil’ CG will be a toddler. It’ll be interesting to juggle around a 6 year-old’s schedule with a still napping (I hope!) 2 year-old’s schedule and find activities that will be suitable for both. I can also imagine the transition from going from one independent (by then) 6 year-old to adding a very-much-not-independent 2 year-old will be a little challenging. Not to mention dealing with homework issues along side toddler tantrums! And I know there will be times when one of them will be bored out of their minds (similar to when my sister was dragged along to my very long violin recitals or me to her Brownies ceremonies, I’m sure)!

It also means our little ones will not be in school together apart from 3 years in elementary school, which means 8 straight years of our kids in high school and then college (I shudder to think about them being that old!!). Again, not a big deal, but funny how just 1 extra year seems to make quite a difference.

I do hope that even with them being in different schools and stages, our kiddos will be able to grow up as friends and really enjoy one another despite a larger age-gap. And yes, I realize I’m being a little silly pondering all this well before our Lil’ CG is home, but at least it keeps my mind busy from the wait!

What is the age gap between your little ones? What would be your ideal age gap?