I suppose you can say the same thing for a first baby, really. As much as you plan, change your lifestyle and make sure you can financially support a little one, I don’t think you ever are really ready for the change a baby makes in your life. Not to mention, pregnancy often doesn’t happen when you plan it, and it is such a blessing to get pregnant in the first place.
I had always thought that I wanted to wait for our little one to be in school before we tried to have another. It would be four years, give or take, and it would allow me to be home with our second little one and have our older one starting her new exciting life as a kindergartner. However, as I realize now just how much your entire existence changes when there is a little one in the home, I wonder perhaps if it better to have one sooner…or maybe later…
I love a good list so I have decided to make a list of the pros of each choice for our family.
W A I T F O R A N O T H E R
~ More time able to be focused on our daughter on her own.
~ Able to be home for her first year of school so I can be involved in her kindergarten year (Canada has one year maternity leave) and even possibly keep her at home for half a day in the beginning instead of going full day every day right at the start.
~ Lil’ Tea Cup will be old enough to hopefully be excited about having a sister/brother and understand more about the situation.
~ More time to move and/or add on to our home to make room for a new baby.
T R Y A G A I N S O O N
~ Little ones would be close in age and can play together.
~ Both in the “younger child phase” at the same time which works out well for naps, activities, trips etc.
~ Able to be home with older daughter during another of her preschool years instead of having her in outside of home care
~ Younger ages of Mom and Dad. I am still young chronologically… my husband not so much.
When did you have your “next” little one or when do you plan to? What factors did you consider?
wonderful clementine / 24134 posts
Great post!
One of our big “wait” factors was to space out large expenses (only one in daycare at a time, one in highschool/college at a time, etc).
guest
My daughter just turned 3 and I am completely yearning for baby #2. Unfortunately, I won’t qualify for maternity leave until July of 2014 since I just started a new job… so I have to wait at least 3 months before we start TRYING. Better believe it’s coming soon, though! My husband is 7 years older than his brother, and they hardly know each other. I definitely do not want that for my kids. The closer the better in my opinion (within reason)
pomegranate / 3275 posts
We have an age difference of 23 months between DD and DS, and it will be 22 months between DS and LO#3. I don’t know why we initially decided that age difference, but it worked so wonderfully that is why it is a similar age difference between DS and LO#3. I like it because they are friends, DD didn’t remember being an only child, she was old enough to be a little more self-sufficient, and they can play together.
grapefruit / 4671 posts
Like @T.H.O.U.: I am trying to space out the mega expenses so we are gunning for a 3 year gap.
GOLD / apricot / 341 posts
We have two little boys, 19 months apart. I was 32 when our first was born so age did factor in to our decision to just get on with it. We also felt that the first year’s sleep deprivation is just so difficult that it was better to get those tough years sort of out of the way in one sweep while we are still young enough. Our second baby just turned one and I have questioned our sanity a few times in the last year – it has been intense and sometimes rough on parents, and both of the children who of course get less attention as little ones than they would have gotten if they had been more spaced out. But seeing these two kids together now is so amazing. They are so close in age that in a couple of years they’ll feel like the same age and that is such a gift to give them. For us it was definitely the right decision.
guest
My daughter and son are only 16 months apart. Parents who haven’t “baby bunched” say we are crazy, but parents who have also had kids close in age say it’s awesome. IF we have a third, my oldest will have to be school age because of daycare expense. I say there isn’t truly a “right” answer because it’s just too personal and depends on too many variables. Children are blessings, period. – no matter when or how they enter your life!
coffee bean / 32 posts
This is a hot topic in our house lately as well! This article is pretty interesting: What no one tells you about child spacing http://www.thealphaparent.com/2012/07/what-no-one-tells-you-about-child.html
I think we are learning toward a larger age gap.
GOLD / wonderful grape / 20289 posts
I never wanted mine to be too far apart in age….. but now that I have #2 on the way and LO will be 2 1/2 when baby gets here I understand the benefits of waiting. Still, I think either way will be good. No bad time to have a baby
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
We decided to just let things happen naturally and I got pregnant right after DD’s 1st birthday. My kids are almost 21 months apart!
I think in an ideal world, my kids would be 3 years apart. We factored in my age and decided it’d be best to just pop them out! I’m 33 now and done birthing children! Yahooo!
pomegranate / 3113 posts
My brother and I are 8 years apart and I definitely don’t want that for my kids. Not to mention, I will be pushing 32 when our first is born and I’d like to be done with pregnancies around 35ish. I think if we decide we want a second child, we’ll start trying when our first is about 2 1/2. That seems like good timing to me for many reasons…but it’s a long way off so who knows what life will throw at us!
cherry / 141 posts
We are shooting for 3 years apart and right now our first child is 14 months. The biological part of me wants to jump in and get pregnant with our second after our little one is 18 months. Who knows what we will actually decide.
blogger / pear / 1563 posts
This is so interesting to read as an infertile. We would have loved for our kids to be close together, but with DS at (a very active) 15 months, we don’t really have the time, energy, or money for all the paperwork involved with adopting again. We’ve never prevented pregnancy and would love for there to be a miracle for our kids to be closer in age, but at this point we would love to have a sibling at all for Little Pinata!
clementine / 849 posts
My brother and I are 5 years apart – and I don’t want that for my kids. I barely know him. Heck, I left for college when he was 13!
I envy all of my friends (and DH) who have close relationships with their sibs.
pomegranate / 3231 posts
I will be two months shy of 37 when I have my first, and my husband will be 38. We want to see how things go with him before fully committing to trying for a second, but if we decide to have another we will do it relatively soon due to our ages. We won’t have the luxury of factoring “ideal” spacing.