Right about now, a new day is dawning in Korea. And not just any day… it’s the first birthday of someone very special…
In a few hours, our son will be waking up officially a one year old.
Half a world away.
Wow.
This feels… very surreal to me. (There are days that even knowing we have one son here, and one son there, feels … well, odd. This day just compounds all those feelings.) I’ve talked to several friends who have gone through this process before me, and I guess I was expecting to feel a little more sad than I do. Going into the process this time, we knew our child wouldn’t be home by the first birthday. I never expected to celebrate this day with them. So in a way, I don’t really feel as though I’m missing a milestone… even though I clearly am! I don’t feel sadness, but I also don’t feel joy. How could I?!
It’s hard to celebrate a person you know only on paper and in photos. Add in that all the information we have was compiled months ago and… well, like I said, it’s surreal. But just because I am struggling to find the right emotions, it doesn’t mean that I don’t have a plethora of hopes and wishes…
I hope you are getting extra love and birthday cuddles today.
I wish you joy… not only today, but every day.
I hope you are happy and healthy.
I wish you lots of special treats… maybe a little extra fruit or perhaps even your first bite of cake?
I hope you have a day of new discoveries.
I wish you lots of music and “bum shaking.”
I hope you chose something good off the doljabi table.
I wish that we knew what it was!
I hope you don’t lose that baby chub or that cute little smirk you have before I get to meet you.
I wish we already met.
I hope you know how many people already love you.
There, you will be celebrated. By this point, there should have been a big Dol party held for all the June birthday babies by the adoption agency. You will wear a hanbok that your foster mother has bought, and partake in the doljabi. How special is that?! Obviously, we would prefer you to be here… but really, deep down, there is a part of me that is so happy that you will get this piece of your culture, your heritage. I hope that your foster family also highlights the day for you. While you won’t know it’s your special day, I hope that they sing you a birthday song, or give you lots of extra hugs. Acknowledge that yes, this day is a little more special than all the others.
Here, we will also celebrate you little one. We will have some Korean food and cupcakes too. Over dinner, we will probably wonder aloud what you are up to these days. Are you walking yet? How many words do you say? Do you still love music and TV commercials? Have you gotten more teeth in? Are you enjoying the warm weather and bright days? Big brother will blow out the candle on your behalf, and we will most likely wish for new photos and an update on you. But mostly, we will wish that you come home soon.
Happy birthday little one.
Baby Paintbrush’s Adoption Journey part 4 of 14
1. Just when you least expect it... by Mrs. Paintbrush2. Winning the {photo} lottery by Mrs. Paintbrush
3. Packing it all in... by Mrs. Paintbrush
4. One by Mrs. Paintbrush
5. The Birthday Box by Mrs. Paintbrush
6. Mile 18 by Mrs. Paintbrush
7. Making a list, and checking it twice... by Mrs. Paintbrush
8. 163 Words by Mrs. Paintbrush
9. Tis' the Season... by Mrs. Paintbrush
10. We're leaving on a jet plane... by Mrs. Paintbrush
11. Christmas Care Package by Mrs. Paintbrush
12. The Waiting is the Hardest Part... by Mrs. Paintbrush
13. It's "go" time! by Mrs. Paintbrush
14. Finally Four by Mrs. Paintbrush
blogger / nectarine / 2687 posts
Crying now.
Big hugs to you…this was such a hard day for us when we missed CB’s birthday…you’re right, it’s so surreal and hard to swallow.
let’s celebrate your littlest man’s birthday with some treats next week, okay?
pomegranate / 3768 posts
Aww this is such a sweet post. Happy First Birthday to your little one!!!
apricot / 457 posts
I really have to stop reading HelloBee at work because I’m just a hot mess at my desk right now. This was just so heart wrenching and heartfelt. Happy birthday to your son!
blogger / watermelon / 14218 posts
Can’t read this… at work… dahhh
Happy Birthday to you, Pint-Sized Picasso. This is the first, last, and only birthday you will have to celebrate geographically separate from your loving family. And just you wait, you don’t know what’s in store… your mama has a whole lifetime of unbelievable parties in store for you!!!
Chuk Dol, little man!!
wonderful pea / 17279 posts
Wow, tearing up. So beautiful.
Happy 1st birthday little man!
blogger / nectarine / 2600 posts
Oh this is so sweet and touching
Happy birthday to little one!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
So touching. I cannot wait until you have your son in your arms. What a beautiful post. Happy birthday to your little one!!
nectarine / 2600 posts
Aw…! Happy birthday little one! I hope you get to squeeze him in person real soon!!
nectarine / 2274 posts
Happy Birthday, really sweet post.
GOLD / papaya / 10166 posts
I’m glad to know I’m not the only one holding back tears as I read this. So touching but so sad at the same time. Happy birthday, little man! He’ll be in your arms before you know it!!
coconut / 8305 posts
Totally made me cry, what a sweet post! Hope the lo guy gets to be united with y’all soon!
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
This sent chills down my spine. So sweet!! I hope you can hold him in your arms SOON. Happy birthday sweet boy!
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
This just reminds me of how wrenching the whole process is. Is there any chance that other families who might be going over to pick up their little ones might snap a picture of him at some point so you can get another glimpse of your little guy?
pomegranate / 3225 posts
Your baby is so lucky to have parents like you waiting for him.
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
Thank you ALL! I love how supportive you HBers are!
@Mrs. Jacks: It’s hard since he’s with a foster family right now. (Which is such an amazing thing, that I am not upset at all by this) That means he could be up to an hours drive away. So arranging a visit for him to the agency that aligns with the other family is a bit of a juggling act. That said, we do have friends who plan to travel there soon, so they may get the request to do a meeting on our behalf.
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@Mrs. Paintbrush: ooh, finger crossed for that since it would be lovely for you to get an update and I know it’s probably not likely in other ways at this moment.
pineapple / 12566 posts
This is so moving. Thank you for sharing your journey.
I don’t really know much about international adoption (or adoption, period, for that matter). Is there a timeframe for when you finally get to meet him and bring him home?
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
oh my… crying at work!!! goodness!! how sweet of a little letter to your baby boy! I am so excited for you to bring him home.
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
@lamariniere: That is the million dollar question right now. South Korea is currently undergoing some extensive legal changes in the program, so we really don’t know how long the wait to travel will be. I’m *hoping* we travel later this year. But, it could be early next year too. We just don’t know.
pineapple / 12566 posts
@Mrs. Paintbrush: Wow, I can’t even begin to image the anticipation! I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you that it will be sooner rather than later.
wonderful olive / 19353 posts
Oh my goodness! This is just too sweet of a letter and totally melts the heart!! Hoping y’all get to bring him home soon!!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
Oh my, such a sweet post. The waiting in adoption can be so hard! I love your positive attitude, this was a fantastic post.
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
Needed the tissues (okay, my sleeve) for that one. How bittersweet.
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
Hugs to you. Tearing up reading this…you are one strong mama =).
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
So sweet!! Sniffle, sniffle.
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
You ladies are just the BEST! Thank you all for the sweet words.
apricot / 274 posts
I heart aches for you. I hope you get to hold your son real soon.