We live in a small, two bedroom house. We wanted two kids, but figured that this would be no big deal; they would just share a room. We ended up with two little girls, so that makes it even easier. They can just share a room forever (or until leaving home, I guess). Right? Right. And then Sunny was born, and we had to put it into practice. Like most aspects of parenting, it was not as simple as we had thought.
Ria slept in our room in a bassinet for her first 3 months, before moving to the crib in her room. The nursery is right next to our room so we could still hear her easily and respond quickly. I felt very comfortable with this and we got decent sleep all around. When Sunny was born, I assumed she would sleep in our room for 3-6 months. Once she outgrew her moses basket, we would move her into the crib in the nursery. 13 months later she was still in our room. We ended up moving the crib in because I simply could not figure out how to get everyone to sleep any other way.
Sunny was a terrible sleeper (terrible!) and Ria often took 1-3 hours to fall asleep at night. So, Sunny could fall asleep easily (after sleep training) but still woke up a few times a night, and Ria could not fall asleep, but was out when she was out. Also, Sunny woke up 2 hours earlier in the morning. When you add in how badly Sunny’s naps have been for most of her life, I was convinced that they would just tag team each other’s sleep all night and day. We were really starting to tire of having a baby in our bedroom, however.
Then, in March, when Sunny was 13.5 months old and Ria was just past 3 years, we went on a trip for two weeks to visit family. We had to share a room at every place we visited. On our first night I tucked Sunny into bed while Ria and her cousin ran around like shrieking maniacs. An hour later I put Sunny into bed very quietly and didn’t hear a peep from either of them. My cousin and I went out to the hot tub for a bit and came back in to Sunny screaming (poor little girl!) and Ria sleeping like the dead. I looked at them and thought “you are so sharing a room when we get home!”. And they did. After a week of crash night weaning for Sunny. Seriously, I don’t know how she started nursing like a newborn all night again, but I cut her off cold turkey when we got home. 14 month old babies (toddlers) don’t need to kill me with night nursing. Anyway, they started sharing a room at night first, and then a week later they started napping together.
Our Bedroom Sharing Bedtime Routine
6:30 Sunny gets ready for bed. Nursing, brush teeth, PJ’s. This takes anywhere from 10-30 minutes, depending on how she nurses. She’s dropping her breast-milk intake but it isn’t consistent.
7:00 Lights out in the bedroom, Sunny goes to sleep. Sometimes a bit earlier. She falls asleep nicely 90% of the time, sometimes there are tears for a few minutes.
7:00-7:30 Ria and I do puzzles or paint. Things that we don’t do when Sunny is up. I love this time for bonding with her.
7:30-8:00 Bathtime (Sunny showers with me in the morning; they aren’t bathing nicely together right now), teeth, PJ’s, books. Then we sneak into the bedroom and I tuck her in.
Sunny still wakes up horribly early (5:30. I hate the world before 7), but Ria sleeps through it.
Napping
Naptime is simillar, except that I sneak Ria in as soon as Sunny is out. If I wait too long, Sunny will hit the 45 minute point and briefly wake at the same time Ria is settling and all bets are off. It’s a science! I am so grateful that they nap at the same time. So. Grateful. Sunny is a shorter napper than Ria, but I don’t care if she wakes her big sister up. I don’t like Ria to take epic long naps anymore as they throw off bedtime. I usually get about 1.5 hours of quiet.
Things that helped the transition
– White noise! I have a humidifier in there and it seems to help a lot, especially for getting Ria settled without disturbing Sunny.
– Black out blinds and a very dim nightlight. It’s harder to play if they can’t see each other!
– A backup place for one of them to sleep. We have a playpen in our room. If they are keeping each other up (usually Ria having trouble getting to sleep and waking her sister), I put Sunny in our room until they are both out, then I move her back to her crib. She never used to transfer, but she’s really easy to move now. In fact she’s usually asleep before I leave the room, even if she’s been jumping around and laughing seconds before.
– Time. At first Ria was waking Sunny up all the time, but it’s getting to be less and less. They are learning to ignore each other’s noises.
I’m so glad they share a room now! We have our bedroom back, and they love being together. Ria got a big girl bed this week (she was on a matress on the floor) and is enjoying a place her sister can’t climb up to yet. I give it a week.
Do your kids share a room, or do you plan on having your kids share a room?
cherry / 116 posts
I love this post about how it all came to be. I shared a room with my brother until I was in 6th grade and he was 3 years younger than me. While we were excited to have our own rooms in the end, I feel we ended up playing together more than we would have, given the different genders and age gap. We hope we’ll have two children and definitely plan to have them share a room when they’re young due to our house layout.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
I plan to have my kids share a room when they’re older, even if they’re opposite genders! I think it’ll promote bonding. I shared a room with my sister until we were both in 6th grade, and I really think it helped foster closeness.
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
I love room sharing! Ha, I guess that’s easy for me to say because I never had to share a room until I moved in with my husband…
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
My three boys share and Lilly has her own. We have some crazy ridiculous stories about getting them adjusted. But it works out well. We are about to go bunk bed shopping. Yikes!!
pomelo / 5178 posts
We hope to have the kids share a room at some point, but I’ve been putting it since they sleep at different times. I think, at this point, I’m settling for allowing the occasional “sleep over” where the kids can choose one room to sleep in for the night, but maintain their separate rooms for the rest of the time. I’m so glad you posted about this, though, because I wondered how it worked for other people whose children share a room!
cherry / 248 posts
Mrs. Train, do your boys still nap? I have twin boys and they share a room but since the arrival of our daughter they no longer nap. I just can’t seem to settle them down now that I’ve thrown caring for a infant into the mix.
pea / 13 posts
We have a tiny two bedroom house, a nearly three year old and are expecting twins in July. We have two mini cosleepers in our bedroom, and we are going to keep them as long as we can. We have no idea what we are going to do after that!
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
I’m so glad you posted this. As long as we stay in our current home, this is what we will have to do with our kids. I’m worried about the logistics of this so your post is super helpful!
guest
Thanks for your tips. I will def go back to this post later since I have two daughters, a newborn and a two yr old.
papaya / 10560 posts
i love this. we bough a 2/2 dollhouse, and while we love it, we definitely want more kids so i never knew how room sharing would work with the one bedroom other than the master. great post!
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21616 posts
This is a great post! We obviously only have one, but there were very few times in my childhood I DIDN’T share a room with a sibling. It is scary thinking about the logistics – especially after posts like Mrs. Train’s about crib hopping hahah!
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
@threeplusme: mine do not nap. They stopped napping regularly in their room before they were two. There were a little bit crazy. I swapped it for “quiet time”. I turned down the lights in the house and let them watch tv until they eventually crashed. Now at 3.5 they never nap.
@Mrs. Pen: haha. I think sometimes I scare people a little about sibling activities (and how mischievous they can be)
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
Their bedroom is cute!
grape / 81 posts
This post gives me hope since our boys will inevitably be sharing a room sooner rather than later. As soon as the baby outgrows his bassinet, he will share a room with our oldest (5 yrs) rather than our middle (2 3/4). We think that’s the best mix right now but it will inevitably change, I’m sure!
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
I really appreciated this post. We thought long and hard about what to do here… and while we ultimately decided to have separate rooms, you made me see that it could work. Even if I do end up with two horrible sleepers! Thanks for this post!
GOLD / apricot / 341 posts
We never really considered having our boys (28 and 9 months old) share since we have 3 bedrooms. But we also had a recent trip change our minds. I shared a room with both kids for 3 weeks and was nervous that none of us would get any sleep. But we (like you) found that Alec (big brother) wasn’t at all bothered by Louis’ (little brother) noise. He slept through night wakings and nursing without issue. Louis however, was woken by Alec so our looong sleep-ins gave way to Alec’s earlier mornings. And it was so clear that Alec LOVEd sharing. So when we got back home we decided that we’ll move both kids into the smaller bedroom after the summer, leaving them a fabulous big play room (with a low Queen bed for guests or nights we need to separate them). I’m excited about it!
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
Aww. I always wanted to have my kids share a room, but looks like they never will.
I’m hoping they’ll have sleep overs in either one of their rooms though.
guest
I love your helpful tips! I don’t have kids yet, but I know I want at least two even though I will be in my two bedroom condo for a few more years. I love to hear how people deal with small spaces. My condo is 1100 sq. ft., which I relatively small for where I live. I can’t imagine putting ANY baby items (i.e., swings and whatnot) in my living room, or anywhere else in my house for that matter. But yes… two kids will have to share a room when that time comes.
cherry / 175 posts
We have a 4 bedroom house.. and I still have my 2 kids sharing a room. Yes I have a backup crib in our office… but there’s just something I like about them being together. I think of it as co-sleeping. Some nights it takes them a while to settle down – but I think it’s sweet the way they are interacting. WT is almost 3 and CC is almost 1. I’m even entertaining them sharing a bed when we move CC out of a crib. At least until they are old enough for it be weird since it is a B/G mix
guest
We do plan to have our son and daughter share a room for a while. Hopefully soon! Your current nap routine sounds like ours. They do sleep in the same room, just in bed with us. I’m not confident that our son wouldn’t wake our daughter if she got into bed earlier though. It seems the older he gets, the louder and rowdier and longer bedtime becomes. It’s awful.
guest
Thank you for sharing your experience. I have 4 and 2 year old girls and am expecting a boy in Aug. We just transitioned them to the same room about a month ago to get them used to sharing before the baby. I have implemented a similar style, I put the 2 year old down first at 7:15, then my 4 year old 30 minutes later when I know the littlest is asleep. My 2 year old is not the greatest sleeper and wakes my oldest in the middle of the night, but they’re both easily put back to sleep in their beds. Naps are harder. Sometimes I forgo my oldest nap just to have the 2 year old get a good nap so she is not crabby in the afternoon. It’s not easy, but feel it will be worth it in the long run. My girls are very close and play together so well. I have all their books together in their room and when they wake up early, 6-6:30, they read and look at them together. It’s so sweet having them grow up together in the same room.