Next week is my last full week of maternity leave, and let’s just say it’s a bittersweet feeling. As I mentioned in my post on maternity leave in Quebec, I’ve been able to stay home for 50 weeks. I love being home, but I also love working. I truly believe I’m a better mom because I work. I need my time away from my kids to really appreciate the time I do spend with them.
What is bittersweet is that it’s my last maternity leave.
Even before we had kids, we decided that 2 was the perfect number for us. We thought the logistics of 2 would be easier because I come from a family of 4 girls, and Mr. Sunglasses from a family of 3 kids (1 girl, 2 boys). As much as I loved being surrounded by many siblings, we weren’t able to go on many family trips because we had such a big family. Family bonding and vacations are extremely important to me, and if we had a third, they would be much harder logistically and financially. Not having anymore kids means I will be able to really enjoy seeing Mavrick and Sienna grow, and do activities with them I might not be able to if we had another child.
We decided to close the baby making machine, but accepting it is harder than I thought. If you asked me whether I wanted another child, my response would be an automatic no. But when I sit down and really think about the idea of not being pregnant, giving birth or holding a newborn ever again, it honestly makes me sad.
I plan on getting a Mirena IUD (it’s taking a while due to the joys of Quebec healthcare and the lack of doctors), and then Mr. Sunglasses plans to get a vasectomy. But I still wonder if a few years down the road I’ll regret my choice, or suddenly have the desire to have another child when Mavrick starts school.
Have you had the “am I making the right decision” feeling when it comes to stopping or continuing to grow your family? Did you regret your choice or change it along the way?
pomelo / 5178 posts
We’re in the same position of knowing we’re now done have children. Sometimes it’s hard. Most of the time I feel done, but when I think about how DS won’t be a baby much longer and how this will be my last time with baby smiles and baby cuddles and baby coos, I get sad. It’s hard to close the door on a chapter in my life that has brought me so much joy.
cherry / 175 posts
I feel you. If money were no option and I were a SAHM I think 4 would be my perfect number. But money does matter… and taking care of 2 kiddos with 2 parents working full time is HARD!
Although we are DONE DONE. I really don’t want to be pregnant again (though I kinda do.). My husband might have a heart attack if there were an oppsie baby (I might too!). I’m just not ready for the finality of a vasectomy. I have an IUD for now. And if these DONE DONE feelings are the same in about 5 years (and I’m 39!) – he’ll get the snip
As far as processing the ‘we’re done’ feelings – I’m too busy right now to spend time on that! ha. I figure I’ll slowly process this over the years leading up to a more permanent ‘baby factory closing’.
apricot / 275 posts
Yep, I am right there with you! You have a beautiful family
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
We decided to stop after 2 as well. I get a little sad thinking about it, but when I remind myself of all the reasons we decided to close the baby factory, my sadness goes away
You have a beautiful family and are so blessed! One of each is perfect!
grapefruit / 4187 posts
I always thought 3 was the perfect number (for me), but reading your post actually makes me rethink that a little. You’re right about not being able to go on the same kinds of vacations, etc. Growing up it was just me and my sister and we went everywhere as a family including many international (expensive) vacations. If my parents had had more kids it would have been much more complicated and difficult.
pear / 1769 posts
Those are the exact same reasons we will likely stop at two. I don’t think I will have as big of a problem with it as I would have thought prior to having my first LO. It is a lot of work, and I want to be able to focus on the kids I do have than long for more.
guest
Off topic, but I think I will bring this picture of you to my next hair appointment! Very pretty
blogger / pineapple / 12381 posts
@Honeybee: Sniff! Us too. It’s hard, but I also know it’s the right decision for us.
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
@Honeybee: I agree. it’s hard to close the door on one chapter, but the chapters to come are even more amazing (so i hear)
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
@bienlivingdesign: Thank you! As do you. You actually have a house full
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
@Modern Daisy: I think the thing for me is that we NEVER went on family trips so it’s something that is extremely important for me. Plus I think now, having 2 working parents plays a toll on family time. So time to concentrate on the 2 i do have
blogger / persimmon / 1398 posts
I think we’ll be two and done too… but, then again, I thought I was done after one… so who knows?!
Really though, barring a sibling call, I don’t think we will want to go through this process again. And we aren’t getting any younger.
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
We always said 2 would be our perfect number, but I almost think I would be okay with 1. I guess only time will tell, but new chapters are always as exciting as they are scary.