I just completely weaned my daughter a few days ago. I had this idea that babies were easy to wean, and you just give them cow’s milk and off they go. Why would I have that impression? Because that’s exactly what my twins did. Right at the 1 year mark I took off one feeding at a time and had very little fussing from either of them. My daughter was not the same.
I always had the goal of breastfeeding for a year and then stopping just as I did with my sons. I didn’t realize it would be a much longer and more difficult process. She is an opinionated lady already, and she let me know each step of the way that she didn’t like change.
To be honest, at a year I wasn’t completely ready to stop so I just let her nurse whenever she wanted. She was still waking up several times a night and the only way to get her to go back to sleep was to nurse her. I know that some of that is my fault. The sooner I stopped nursing her to sleep the sooner she would stop needing to be nursed to sleep.
We waited until she was 14 months old before really starting to wean. This was right after all the holiday commotions and I was ready to stop nursing. I started with her little snack feedings. She would often come up to me and nurse for a few minutes then hop down and continue playing. When I eliminated those, it would take us down to 3 feedings a day plus all of her night wake ups. She was a bit resentful at first and would scratch at my chest and face. I told my husband she was never going to wean and she would be this bratty teenager still wanting to nurse. I know it’s a bit of an exaggeration but sometimes when you’re in the motherhood trenches that’s what it feels like. I stuck with it for a week, and eventually the scratches on my neck healed and she stopped asking.
The next week I worked on her afternoon feeding. Although she fought it for a few days, she eventually relaxed and took her sippy cup. It helped that this coincided with her nap so she didn’t have a lot of fight in her. She would be so tired that she would give up, take the cup and start to fall asleep. We were trying to get her sleeping habits under control so after she drank her milk, I would lay her down in her crib for a nap.
Next came the hardest part. I wanted to leave the morning and night for last just for my own comfort. So the battle of night weaning began. My little lady is stubborn and has an excellent set of lungs on her. When I refused to nurse her in the middle of the night, she would throw a tantrum to beat all other tantrums. I was afraid she would wake the entire house. She would scream for 2-3 hours without stopping. I tried for a few nights but then I had to call in the big guns. It was Mr. Train’s turn.
He always gets called in for the tough things like sleep training and weaning. For a few nights he woke up with our sweet little tantrum throwing lady and worked to get her back to bed. Sometimes it would take hours to get her to go back down. As you can imagine our household was a bit grouchy for a few days. Miraculously after dealing with a year of sleepless nights, my little girl started sleeping through the night. I can count on one hand how many times in the last four years I have slept for longer than 6 hours at a time. It was glorious! Although it felt like an eternity, she was night weaned in about a week. An extra bonus is Mr. Train got to have some opportunities to be with our daughter one on one, which was rare in the first year. He may have preferred it to not be at 3 in the morning, but us parents have to take what we can get.
Time for some daddy daughter bonding time
That took us to mid January. I was starting to miss our nursing time together, but I knew that it needed to be done. I have been TTC, pregnant or nursing for almost 7 years. I am ready to have my body be mine. We also have a weekend away in February and I wanted her to be completely weaned by then. I decided to drop the morning feeding first. I started, but after a few days of screaming fits and scratched skin, I called in Mr. Train again. He woke up with her for a few days in a row and gave her a sippy cup of milk and voila, she dropped that feeding. You’d think I would get the pattern by now, but I always try to do it first and it’s a horrible failure so I bring in Daddy to do the job.
At last it came down to our final feeding. Our evening feeding was one of my favorite times. I would take her into our bedroom away from her noisy brothers. I would usually get a good 20-30 minutes of enjoyable snuggle time out of it. I was a little sad to see it go so I didn’t push it that much. One evening she nursed but only did it for a minute or two on each side. Then she sat up, slid off the bed and left our bedroom. She walked over to her brother, took his sippy cup and cried for an animal cracker. I got the hint I guess she would be fine without our evenings together.
I really didn’t want that silly 2 minute feeding to be our last, so the following night I knew in my heart it would be the last time. I let her completely fall asleep with me and I snuggled her for a little longer that night before putting her in her crib. I also admittedly cried a little bit. She is my last child and this was my last time nursing a baby. I let myself be emotional and knew that in a few days it would pass.
I can’t believe my baby girl is weaned
Well here we are a few days past that and things are fine. My mommy sadness as subsided and I am looking forward to that much needed weekend away.
Did you have a difficult time weaning or was it easy?
Weaning part 5 of 13
1. A slow wean by mrs. tictactoe2. My Breastfeeding Adventure by Mrs. Tea
3. The End of an Era: My Decision to Wean by Mrs. Confetti
4. Nursing Beyond the Second Year by Mrs. Twine
5. Our Adventures in Weaning by Mrs. Train
6. Weaning. by Mrs. Makeup
7. Weaning: Our journey by Mrs. Yoyo
8. Smile because it happened... by Mrs. Pen
9. Why I Want to Wean... and Why I Don't Want to Wean by Mrs. Bee
10. Adventures in Weaning by Mrs. Bee
11. Olive is Weaned. by Mrs. Bee
12. Weaning at Two by Mrs. Stroller
13. Weaning at 18 months by Mrs. Deer
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
Oh my goodness I am not looking forward to weaning one bit! Good job for nursing for so long and finally getting your body back.
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
Yowzers! That does not sound fun. But, I’m glad you guys succeeded in the end. Also, I love the shots of each of you with her. Those are so sweet!
hostess / watermelon / 14932 posts
aww I teared up when you said you had a deliberate last feeding! my LO is only 4 months and I’m already both looking forward to having my body back, and dreading losing that time with her! Such great pictures, too.
cherry / 119 posts
she is so cute! my LO weaned from nursing pretty easy. she never asked for it during the process. i think i took it harder than her. i weaned her at 9 months to formula in a bottle. going from the bottle to whole milk at 12 months though was difficult!!
persimmon / 1341 posts
Ugh, this totally made me cry! I am so sad at the thought of having 1 last nursing session with my daughter. I love that time with her and love being the one to provide her with such great nourishment.
honeydew / 7968 posts
I am totally tearing too. I know I really want to wean the kids, but I’m already sad bout it too…. Can’t believe you were at it for SEVEN years! I give you mucho mucho props!
guest
Thanks for talking about how sad it can be. And if you wean suddenly (not recommended), it causes a sudden, crazy hormone shift (on top of painful engorgement) so it’s even more emotional! T
squash / 13764 posts
I also teared up reading about your last nursing session. I imagine I”ll feel similarly sad!
persimmon / 1472 posts
I just weaned my daughters daytime nursing sessions and even though I enjoy the new freedom (she drinks whole milk) I was sad to no longer have that one on one time with her. I’m still nursing her in the morning, bedtime and her occasional night wakings and hoping she will self wean slowly. I’m secretly hoping it takes a while cause I don’t think I emotionally ready yet. I will really miss it when she weans. =P
guest
I’m sure I’ll feel differently in a few months, but thinking about weaning my daughter (who is now four months) makes me so sad! I love our time together, and I love being able to provide for her in that way. Maybe she’ll quit on her own; then only I’ll be sad about it.
pea / 17 posts
My kiddo fought being weaned. She gave the most intense resistance- i wanted to wean her at 12-18 months. But she begged & pleaded until She was weaned at… :-\ 25-26 months. NOT what i had mentally prepared for! Night weaning first. Then the pre-nap nursings…
pineapple / 12053 posts
I teared up as well reading about your last nursing. I just started with our first baby, but I already try to soak up the time with her!
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
congrats on making it so far and for weaning! i so wish i could wean right now…. i hope it’s as (relatively) easy for me as it was for you!
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
I’m the opposite – I have a goal of at least 18m and since I stopped pumping at work my supply has dropped drastically. Last week a combo of running more and getting AF had me making almost nothing. Little M was pissed and would nurse for two seconds then bite me, flip out and then leave. I freaked out since he’s only 14m. I started taking supplements and drinking gatorade after I run and I think I’ve got things under control. I’m sooooo not ready yet! Of course it hasn’t been 7 years for me
pea / 23 posts
Weaning for us has been almost a full year of gradually but intentionaly cutting out a feeding one at a time, starting when he was about 20 mos … First I did the method of “don’t offer, but don’t decline”. This cut out most of our daytime feedings pretty quickly as he was in full busy toddler mode and the only time he would ask at that point was if he hurt himself or was overtired and wanted a cuddle/nurse to feel better. But I was still nursing to get him to sleep at naptime and bedtime… And 1-2x at night. We did this amount of nursing from 20 mos until 2 yrs + 5 mos when I became pregnant. I thought at this point he might self wean completely since my supply went down and the taste changed (he told me when this happened, and I told him he didn’t have to keep nursing but he literally said, that’s ok! And kept asking at night). After 3 months of preggo nursing, it suddenly got painful and irritable for me, so I tried to nightwean over a long weekend that was… Miserable. After 4 days and some research on nursing while pregnant and tandem nursing, I relinquished control and let him nurse again when he asked for it. The only other hiccup we had was when my colostrum came in and mixed with the little mature milk I was making, it gave him loose stools for a couple weeks, but then his system got used to it and his poos returned to normal.
My supply actually regulated again after about 7 mos preggo, but I also started to say no to the middle of the night wake-up and those also went away. I am now 35 weeks preggo and the only time he asks for milk is before bed and first thing when he wakes up in the morning. He nurses from one side each time. Once the milk is gone (which I can feel as it wanes), I tell him it’s all done and it’s time to unlatch, which he does usually without protest. He just turned 3 on Jan 28th.
So I guess we will venture into tandem nursing, though I don’t think that will last long as he is a busy guy now and dad is starting to do more bedtimes in anticipation of new baby arriving soon. We have had a couple of 24 hr periods where he didn’t nurse at all because he fell asleep in the car near bedtime and then I was up before him in the morning so I think those can/might happen more over the next 4 weeks.
I’m taking a pretty relaxed attitude about tandem nursing because I don’t want to force weaning him and he still wants to, so it’s ok with me to continue. I honestly thought he would self-wean by now, but again, I’m pretty laid back about going with the flow about the whole thing. He is super independent, has zero issues with separation from me in other regards (like going to preschool or to a babysitter), so I don’t worry about the connection between nursing an older toddler and it affecting their independence. I’ve talked to a couple moms I’ve since met and found out tandem nursed, and all of them said their toddlers weaned fairly quickly after the baby was born and did not have sibling rivalry issues (if anything, they have said the toddler was very gentle and kind about nursing together or sharing turns). I’ve done some verbal preparation with him so far, just talking about how baby sister will need to nurse for her food and won’t eat food like him until she is older, etc. which I think he totally gets since he is older.
I can’t say that this extended nursing relationship would have occurred if I was working out of the home (I work at home part-time), but it has been a wonderful experience and I’m looking forward to my next nursing relationship. There are some things I will probably do different (like night wean first before day weaning next time). Only time will tell!
guest
@mrs train, was your daughter already drinking well from a sippy before you started to wean her? My kiddo is 15 months and I want to try weaning. But doesn’t drink enough fluids and I worry about constipation.
blogger / pomegranate / 3300 posts
Yea she was using sippy cups and regular cups. She started drinking more while we were weaning. As I dropped feedings she started taking a full sippy cup of milk with each meal and additional water ones in between.