Before I got pregnant, for some crazy reason, I thought that maternity leave would be like summer vacation. Boy was I wrong. Maternity leave, in reality, is hard work – probably more difficult than my actual job. A seven-week-old baby is infinitely more demanding than a hormonal teenager.
Here’s a look at a typical day of maternity leave with my seven week old baby:
– 1:00 AM – It’s time for our first middle of the night feeding. We’re still co-sleeping, so I don’t have to go very far to get the Trikester out of bed. Actually it’s not really fair to call it a bed, because we’re still sleeping on the couch in the living room. We need to work on that. I usually change his diaper and then settle in with the boppy on the couch. The baby does not like to be rushed, so nursing takes about an hour. Sometimes I watch a TV show that I’ve recorded on DVR, or I use my phone to browse Hellobee while the baby nurses, dozes off, nurses, and then dozes off again. If I don’t distract myself with TV or my iPhone I fall asleep and then the whole nursing session comes apart. When it looks like the Trickster has finally finished, I re-swaddle and we go back to sleep until the next nursing session.
– 4:00 AM – It’s 4:00 AM and the baby’s hungry again. We rinse and repeat as we did at 1:00 AM, and then try to fall back asleep. For some reason, which I haven’t yet figured out, the baby always has horrible gas at this time of morning. The gassiness means he very rarely falls back asleep, so we mostly cuddle and think about how we wish we were sleeping.
– 6:30 – We stop pretending to sleep, bite the bullet, and get up to nurse again.
Isn’t this set-up glamorous? It’s kind of embarrassing that my baby is happiest on the kitchen floor, but it works! We put him here because there’s a heat vent that keeps his toes warm. It used to be Kiwi’s favorite spot, but she’s nice enough to kindly share with the baby now.
– 7:00 – Mr. Tricycle is awake and getting ready for work. Luckily for us, this is the Trikester’s happiest time of day. He’s content to chill on his changing mat on the floor of the kitchen. It’s a very glamorous set-up indeed. With the baby lounging on the floor, it allows me to pack Mr. Tricycle’s lunch for work, clean-up the kitchen from last night, make coffee and find something for breakfast. Feeding myself is a little bit of a challenge because I’m still skipping dairy and soy to keep the Trikester’s tummy happy. If I’m lucky I have time for fried eggs, but if the baby’s extra fussy, it’s a bowl of Chex cereal with almond milk eaten while I sit on the kitchen floor. We also squeeze in play time and lots of kisses between chores.
Am I the only one addicted to taking photos of my sleeping baby? I love how peaceful he looks (and it gives me the best view of his long, girly eyelashes!)
– 8:00 AM – Mr. Tricycle leaves for work and it’s time for the baby to take his nap. I swaddle him and put him in the bouncer with his pacifier, and he usually falls asleep. If I’m lucky he takes a 40 minute nap, but sometimes he opts for a 15 minute cat nap. I use this time to eat my breakfast, drink my coffee, watch the Today show, and check my email. On this particular morning, he slept for 30 minutes, but he was content to relax in his bouncer for an hour after he woke up.
I love it when he wakes up smiling and happy!
– 9:30 AM – At 9:30 it’s time to nurse again. This time I also try to pump the other side. The process takes about an hour, so I hope there’s something good to watch on the DVR. I’m happy to find Sunday’s episode of Downton Abbey – score! It’s not the most ideal nursing show, as I keep missing the dialogue when the baby fusses. Real Housewives or the Bachelor is better, as I can get distracted, and still totally understand what’s happening.
– 10:30 AM – For the next two hours I try to get some things done. The only reason I can actually accomplish anything is because I put the baby in the Ergo. He’s content to nap or relax and it allows me to have my hands free to do chores (and snack). I munch on corn chips and salsa, a pear, and a coconut yogurt. On this particular day, my big chore is to take down the Christmas tree. I can’t actually drag the tree out of the house with the baby strapped me, but I do manage to get all the lights and the ornaments off of it. Honestly, as of this morning, the lights are wound and bundled, but they’re still sitting on the couch along with shoe boxes filled with ornaments. They have yet to make it into the storage bins in the basement. Maybe that will happen this morning. I also use this time to write a blog post. When I’m wearing the baby I find it easiest to sit on an exercise ball, and type on my laptop which sits on a TV tray – it’s a very professional set-up. It’s also a good lower ab workout, which my tummy needs postpartum!
– 12:30 PM – Because I snacked a lot while the baby was sleeping, I don’t bother to eat lunch today. For the next hour and a half, the baby nurses and naps, and I watch some TV and also fall asleep.
– 2:00 PM – It’s bath time! I know most people do bath time right before bed, but the evening tends to be the Trikester’s crankiest time of day. To make baths a more pleasant experience, I tend to do in the middle of the day when he’s well rested and happy. It’d be nice if I got to shower today, but that doesn’t appear to be in the cards. Maybe tomorrow! I don’t even take time to apply a little deodorant, so maybe it’s a good thing that I’m still sleeping on the couch.
– 2:30 PM – Even though the baby ate recently, we squeeze in another quick nursing session to make sure he doesn’t get hungry when we go for a walk.
– 3:00 PM – The baby goes back in the Ergo and we head outside for a 45 minute walk. My neighborhood has fantastic walking trails – they are plowed during the winter but often times they’re too icy to actually walk on. We had a big thaw this week, so it does allow me to get back on the paths and off the street. We usually get in about two miles, but sometimes we have to turn around and head home when the baby gets fussy. At the moment, this is my only form of exercise.
Isn’t my get-up fashionable? I usually wear one of Mr. Tricycle’s old jackets so I can zip it around the carrier, and a bright pink hat so we don’t get run-over.
One of the great walking paths in my neighborhood.
– 3:45 PM – The baby is still content in the carrier, so I continue to wear him while I putter and start getting dinner together. Tonight we’re having pan-seared mahi mahi and a coconut curry with eggplant, onions, and peppers.
– 4:30 PM – The Trikester starts to fuss and lets it be known that he’s ready to eat again. So for the next hour and a half we camp out in the recliner and he nurses while I watch TV.
– 6:00 PM – Mr. Tricycle is home from work by now, so he spends some time with the baby, while I continue to work on dinner. When the baby gets cranky, he goes back in the carrier to nap, and I continue to finish up dinner. I also use this time to wash and sterilize bottles and pump parts.
– 7:00 PM – We eat dinner together in the living room. I continue to wear the baby and bounce on the exercise ball while I eat. It’s not the neatest solution as I will totally admit to dropping food on the baby’s head, but sitting on the ball guarantees that we will have at least 30 minutes of quiet while we enjoy our dinner.
– 7:30 PM – No amount of bouncing will keep the baby happy now, so I know it’s time for him to eat again. At this point in the night, he gets a little bottle of pumped milk so I can mix in his probiotic. Mr. Tricycle usually gives the bottle so I can run upstairs to brush my teeth and wash my face. No need to change into pajamas because I never took them off this morning. We nurse, and then once he gets sleepy we swaddle him and we head to bed around 8:30 PM (and by head to bed I mean we lay down on the couch).
– 11:00 PM – The Trikester’s squirming, and I know if I ignore it the screaming will start, so we nurse again.
Phew! That’s what a typical 24 hour period looks like during my maternity “vacation.”
Was your maternity leave what you envisioned it would be?
GOLD / papaya / 10206 posts
I had delusions about what luxury and relaxation maternity leave was going to be. Oh how wrong I was
grapefruit / 4006 posts
hah, yeah i don’t know what i was envisioning for maternity leave but it has certainly turned out to be harder than anything i could have imagined! Trikester is sooooo cute!
guest
This sounds exactly like my maternity leave (minus the DVR…)
I found it hard to explain to others why/how I got “nothing” done during the day, but the problem is that ‘nothing’ is a relative term. I kept my baby happy, healthy, rested, and fed. I kept myself …..fed
Good luck to you!
cantaloupe / 6730 posts
I love these posts. I find lots of women have the same attitute that Becky has: that they did nothing. And it’s not true! I mean in addition to baby care, you did chores, made supper, undecorated the tree and went for a good walk! That’s a very busy and full day.
guest
I had delusions of completing an MBA on my maternity leave. I was going to have an entire year vacation and I figured baby would sleep a lot. How crazy is that?
It’s amazing how much time you spend sitting if baby is a slow nurser!! Half your day goes by.
Love the pink hat:)
nectarine / 2054 posts
I also had great ideas about how much I was going to get done! I haven’t even managed to watch interesting shows on TV for the reason you mention – I keep getting distracted!
We have the same changing pad as you, and my son LOVES it. He can sit on that changing pad for ages, perfectly happy. I don’t know what he loves about it so much!
honeydew / 7687 posts
holy cow an hour nursing! my little guy is ready for another nap after an hour awake (including nursing) – i guess that is why he nurses so fast so he can have some fun too. jealous of your long walk though, we haven’t gotten to the loving a carrier phase yet
hostess / wonderful watermelon / 39513 posts
Maternity was a lot harder than I expected! Thanks for this post!
pomegranate / 3383 posts
Maternity leave is definitely NOT a vacation! I couldn’t even find time and energy to turn on the TV in the early days!
Little Trikester is adorable! I love how he chills on the kitchen floor!
blogger / persimmon / 1220 posts
Not at all! Much like you, for whatever reason I was envisioning “vacation.” Sleep, nurse, sleep, be in PJs all day…what was I thinking? I barely slept. And I definitely thought…this is the hardest thing I’ve ever done.
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
This is gave me a good reality check . . .
GOLD / cantaloupe / 6703 posts
Wake up, feed the baby, change the baby, nap. Rinse and repeat! DH comes home, asks what I’ve done that day, “Kept the baby alive” is a perfectly valid answer.
bananas / 9973 posts
Good thing I have no delusions about how easy maternity leave would be. I love that Kiwi is sharing her spot!
guest
Our little one is just 10 hours older than The Trikester and aside from the fact that we’ve moved on to formula (for a multitude of reasons), this sounds like my maternity leave! Luckily he loves his swing and has become a much better sleeper, so I’m off the couch (1.5 weeks now!) but everything else is SPOT ON! I love your posts. So fun with our sons being so close in age.
cherry / 155 posts
Ahh, I remember these 12 weeks fondly. Sort of
We have a dog walker and decided not to cancel while I was on maternity leave, best idea. Knowing that our dog walker was going to come in each day (he’s kinda (very) cute) motivated me to at least look semi-presentable. Even though I was in yoga pants and a nursing top, at least I had on some mascara!
And my maternity leave was through October and we mistakenly bought a big bag of Halloween candy a little early. Awful! It was so easy to unwrap a little candy bar and eat that (ok maybe 3 or 4) for lunch every day.
I also read on some silly website that you are discouraged from watching TV while BFing. Something about being focused on the baby… Yeah right! I watched more DVRed shows than I ever have, ever.
And now my son is 17 months and I never watch TV as he is always on the go and we are playing or reading or eating. So enjoy it now!
persimmon / 1436 posts
What a great post! I have a long way to go before maternity leave, but this was helpful to read and wrap my head around what it could be like! And, hey, you took down the Christmas tree decorations, posted a blog, cooked an amazing-sounding meal, took a lovely walk, and kept adorable Baby T happy — I’d say you had a very productive day! Go Mrs. Tricycle!
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
Ha, I was delusional too. Mr. S gave me a $50 starbucks gift card so the baby and I could walk to starbucks each day. Whatever, I did that once. I was petrified to go out anywhere but breastfeeding support group for weeks!
I think it’s great that you wear the trikester so much. I’ve been reading more and more lately that worn babies are well-adjusted and content as they get older. And walking every day? You do realize that’s more than 99% of moms on maternity leave do, right? Bottom line is you’re doing awesome! And it will get easier, nothing lasts, even the good stuff (which of course breaks my heart!)
ETA: My mom had to take the tree down for me because I couldn’t even manage that much!
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
@RLCeigh: candy bars would totally be myunch if it wasnt for this crazy MSPI diet. And I do feel guilty about my TV consumption, but the baby is not the world’s best conversationalist- especially when his mouth is full!
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
@mamac – how fun!! You should join our Nov 2012 babies thread!
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
@Mrs. Stroller: I love wearing him, though he just had the biggest meltdown in the checkout line at the gro dry store which made me think he doesn’t like the Ergo so much any more.
thanks for the encouraging words.
pineapple / 12053 posts
Thanks for sharing! I just started my mommy leave with my 5-day-old and I know it’s not going to be a vacation already! It sounds to me like you’re doing a lot though, so way to go! There is no way I’d be undercoating a Christmas tree! I’m going to consider myself accomplished if I fold the laundry today. And it’s already been washed.
guest
“Ha, I was delusional too. Mr. S gave me a $50 starbucks gift card so the baby and I could walk to starbucks each day. Whatever, I did that once. I was petrified to go out anywhere but breastfeeding support group for weeks!”
lol at this comment…I totally thought I would be taking walks with my baby and having coffee at starbucks while my baby napped in the stroller. Yup…didn’t leave the house for 12 weeks unless hubby was with me!
nectarine / 2667 posts
My maternity leave ended on Jan 3rd and I miss it! It was a lot like your day (except you were WAY more productive than I was! I *never* made dinner!)
I felt guilty too about watching TV during nursing but then I just started “explaining” the show to LO during a commercial break. “That is the Doctor and he travels through time and space…” It kept me entertained
blogger / nectarine / 2010 posts
@Mrs. Tricycle: Eeuh, it happens, I bet he still likes it. I left an entire cart of groceries near the eggs with M had a meltdown in the Ergo around 10ish weeks. I walked out of the store, sat in the car nursing him for 45 minutes and went right back in and checked out as if nothing happened. Gotta just roll with the punches! I still use the Ergo every day at 13m and he loves it, so there’s hope
hostess / wonderful apple seed / 16729 posts
Glad you wrote this post… I was disillusioned when I thought maternity was going to be nice with all the time off from work. Glad you woke up me up to the reality of maternity leave.
So question… when do you have time to go to the grocery store? You said you made dinner but I don’t see you having time to go to the store. Do you go on the weekends? Do you have your DH pick things up?
clementine / 943 posts
You are super productive!!
your hubby will surely appreciate it!
I used to put the bouncer in the bathroom and close the door to make it warm and cozy for baby while I showered every day. Maybe try that? Personal hygiene is important, and everyone has 5 minutes to jump in and soap up. You don’t have to wash your hair every time even- just scrub the spit up and breast milk scent off you
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
@Pink Champagne: haha. This makes me laugh. I will totally admit that personal hygiene is not a priority at this stage. Luckily, Mr. Tricycle is understanding, if not appreciative.
blogger / pear / 1964 posts
@bluestriped bee: i went grocery shopping today – the second time I’ve done so. Mr. Tricycle did it for the first six weeks. I usually go in the morning right after nursing – usually around 10:30 – (it would have been when I took the tree down in this post). I wear the Ergo and the baby sleeps while I shop.
blogger / coconut / 8306 posts
That’s almost exactly how my first weeks at home with Chloe were! It always amazed me how the days flew by, and how I functioned with so little sleep.
He is seriously the cutest. It’s great that he loves to be worn!! I don’t know what I would have done without my moby!
guest
learn to love the closed captioning. Only way to watch tv with babies, toddlers, preschoolers …
bananas / 9357 posts
Yeah I too thought maternity leave was going to be a vacation. Silly me.
GOLD / pear / 1845 posts
both my girls were happiest before they got mobile if they were naked on the floor, so I would put them on a easy to wash quilt (I had a few) with a cloth diaper under the bum and get all my kitchen stuff done. It was seriously the only way I could make dinner in those early months!
cherry / 226 posts
It was hard work and no one told me it would be that hard, but now that we are past that stage, I wish so much that I could stay at home and have time with baby, enjoying all of lifes special moments and going at our own pace, instead of the busy rushed day at work.
grapefruit / 4291 posts
I found the hardest part of maternity leave to be the unpredictability of my LO and the fact I no longer have control over my day. After a rough first month we’re now doing ok but even at thirteen weeks old there’s no telling whether Baby will take a 45 minute nap or a three hour one!
To help cope with our unpredictable days I have two priorities, one is eating breakfast, the other is showering, everything can be out off