After we narrowed down our list of potential daycares and discussed and compiled our list of questions, we called and set up appointments to tour four facilities.
Daycare #1 – This had the BEST location. Read: it is literally blocks from our house and on the road we both drive to work every day. It was built and opened about a year and a half ago, so everything was shiny and new. It has a loosely-based Christian curriculum, but it didn’t appear to be a driving force in the day-to-day activities of the center. They do have a long waiting list, but they expected to be able to get our babies in around the time I would be finishing maternity leave. As one of the priciest centers in our city, it had very high tech security, but didn’t allow you to access the video feed t0 see your little one because they claimed it was too difficult to keep people from giving out the password to grandma, etc. who then gives it to their neighbor or whoever. Personally, I think that’s a bit excessive. While my mom might want to check on them now and then just to see them, I’m certain none of her friends would ever do so on their own. Further, with the multiple secured doors, I just wasn’t that worried about a pedophile getting the password, somehow seeing my child on the video, getting through the first secure door, getting through the second secure door, and then convincing the daycare workers to give my child to an unknown stranger. Maybe I’m naive, but their explanation just put me off a little. We were taken by each of the rooms from infant through the older toddler classes and explained the differences in each room. The babies in the infant room were all laying quietly on the floor on boppies, in a swing, or chilling in a bouncer. The workers didn’t acknowledge our presence (not that we should be their priority). Nothing at all was “wrong” with Daycare 1. They had all the “right” answers to our questions, and I’m sure our kids would be just fine there. None-the-less, when we left I burst into tears at the thought of leaving them there. It just felt so clinical, from the caregivers to the colors in the room.
Daycare #2 – After we went to Daycare #1, we grabbed some lunch and headed to Daycare #2. Daycare #2 is a Montessori school that has been around for a long time and has consistently been well respected. The security is good, and they do allow you to access the video feed and see your little ones throughout the day. When we arrived, the babies in the infant room were all going CRAZY! Strangely, this actually made me feel better because I could see that all the workers in the room were actively engaging babies, getting bottles, and trying to make everyone happy again. Even with all the activity, several of them said hello, assured us that it wasn’t like this all the time, and gave us friendly smiles. I really liked that the room looked like a real nursery. There were lots of fun colorful toys and playmats out. Babies were doing different things depending on their schedule. They allow you to add a mobile, etc. to the top of the crib. The rest of the tour went well, and I like that they they do Montessori with the older ones but still do some traditional classroom activities so they are not shell-shocked when they go to Kindergarten since we don’t have a Montessori elementary school here. As with most Montessori schools, this center was also at the top of the price range in our area. Like Daycare #1, their wait list would have openings right around the time our little ones would be needing it. It would be about a 5-10 minute drive out of our way, but it was close enough that it would be fine. I felt much better about Daycare #2 overall and it became the one to beat.
Daycare #3: On our next day of visiting centers, we started with Daycare #3, which was the only one that we actually knew people whose children attended. Both of my “mommy” friends that had recommendations RAVED about this place. It is based in a large church that runs one of the most respected private schools in our city. My friends told me that the ladies who worked there really just loved kids, felt like it was a ministry to work there, and were basically like a bunch of grandmas. While it wouldn’t be for everyone, the strong faith-based focus was a plus for us. Our faith is extremely important to us, and if I were staying home, I would definitely be teaching our children the songs, stories, and moral principles of our religion. Therefore, we both liked that this would be reinforced at daycare since our kids will spend so many hours there. They had good security, but no video feed. The whole facility was quite nice and their approach lined up with what the former teacher in me had in mind. The very best part of our visit was the infant room. The ladies working there were rocking and loving on babies. They were so excited to meet us and hear about our twins. The lead teacher told me that she gives her cell phone number to all her mamas so that if something comes up in the middle of the day or night, you can always reach her. She also told us that she is happy to take photos and send messages to us while we’re at work if we want. She just radiated a love for babies, and I literally felt like I was meeting a third grandma to our babies! I felt so at ease there. All the babies were content and engaged. If one got fussy, someone was always around to give them a little TLC. It definitely got high marks. The only catch . . . they might have room for our boys in the summer if some of their school teacher moms take their little ones out for the summer, but otherwise our kids wouldn’t be able to start until September. Since I’ll probably only be taking a 8 week maternity leave and Mr. Blue will be taking a separate two weeks, that would leave us with 3 1/2 months to potentially come up with alternative daycare.
Daycare #4 – This was another church-based facility. Honestly, as soon as we walked in I was Debbie Downer on this place. They have no secured doors, and where we walked in there was no receptionist or anyone else to stop you from walking straight to the classrooms. The lady who we found was not the best tour guide and really just showed us the rooms, but didn’t know that many details, even though her daughter attended. The baby rooms were fine, but nothing noteworthy. We kept our visit short because we both just knew this wasn’t the place for us.
After discussing the different centers, it was clear that we both liked #3 the best. That meant we had to see if we could work out alternative care. I called my mom first. Even though she lives 4 hours away, she’s a stay-at-home wife and has more flexibility than Mr. Blue’s mom, who works at an elementary school and still has a daughter in high school. We explained the situation and asked if she and my dad would consider my mom taking care of the babies for a few months. Mr. Blue’s mom was also called because she had mentioned wanting to come up a few weeks and take care of the kiddos, too, even though she would be much more limited on how much time she could spend here. My mom and dad were a-okay with the plan and completely flipped out when we talked about paying my mom for keeping the babies. She said, “I’m NOT going to have my grandsons grow up and have someone tell them that their grandma had to be PAID to take care of them!!” She was quite righteously indignant about the whole thing. :) Mr. Blue’s mom was still happy to come up for two or three weeks during June and July, which will give my mom a bit of a break from twin duty.
In the end, it looks like everything will work out fine, even if we can’t get our kids in to Daycare #3 during the summer. I love that our moms will get some extra time with our babies and that the boys will be a bit older by the time they start daycare. This was one of the hardest decisions I’ve had to make, but I feel really comfortable with our choice.
Not that I won’t still cry my eyes out for the first few weeks when I drop them off!
Did you just have a gut feeling about a certain daycare? How did you choose your caregiver?
nectarine / 2530 posts
Sounds like a great choice! How far in advance did you start researching/touring daycares?
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@StrawberryBee: We started visiting daycares at the end of my first trimester, and the wait lists were already long in our area, but would end up working out about right. I would say it’s good to do some general research when your TTC or very early in pregnancy, though. When we were TTC, I called a couple daycares I new were good (#1 & 2) and asked about cots and waitlist, so I would have a general idea about when I would need to start really getting serious about finding a place.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
How funny, your options sound so similar to the daycares I visited, and I also ended up choosing a faith-based one similar to the one you chose!
And it was also the only one that had people we knew sending their kids there. At first I was very happy with our choice, but ever since our PB scare with Noelle I’m more wary overall about it. She comes home so happy every day though and mentions her teachers all the time, so I know they’re really loving on her. My boss, who I highly respect and has 6 kids, was telling me it’s normal for kids to cry when you drop them off (and they will adjust in time), but the key sign to look for is how they are when you pick them up. I’ve really taken that advice to heart when I look at my daycare, and I see Toddler Heels is thriving there and always playing so happily when I pick her up, so I will keep her there for now even though I do have my reservations.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Oh yeah. We had a heck of a time with picking a daycare. We chose one, started her there and then I decided the shiny new place near my work would be better. When we went for our meet and greet, though we found that the shiny new place felt like your #1. The teachers didn’t seem to love the children, they just seemed to be doing their jobs. This, compared to where she was where all the teachers are grandmothers and literally, when we drop her off in the morning, they say, “I love you little girl!” to our daughter. The babies are always being held or loved on. I ended up going back to that place practically on my knees asking to get her back in. Thankfully, they still had space. It’s not a secure building but it’s small enough that the teachers and directors know the parents of each child and would never let anyone go home with a stranger. My gut feeling was, go with the first place. I’m so happy we were able to make that work out. Mommy intuition is real!!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@Mrs. High Heels: I’ve never heard that (about assessing how they are when you pick them up v. drop them off), but that makes absolute sense to me. Definitely filing that away for future use. I can’t imagine how nervous I would be after a scare like you had! Hopefully, it scared them enough, too, that they will be extra on guard now!
nectarine / 2530 posts
@Mrs. Blue: Thank you! We’re in the very early stages of pregnancy (5 weeks), so I guess I need to start hunting :). There’s one around the corner from my house that’s probably perfect in everything but cost.
blogger / wonderful cherry / 21628 posts
I’m glad you found a found a good daycare for your babies!
grapefruit / 4669 posts
Yaay, so glad this worked out! The daycare you chose seems like a good fit and I bet it’s nice to have that out of the way!
guest
The daycare we chose sounds a lot like the one you picked–older, grandmotherly teachers who have been there a long time and clearly love the children. My little one smiles when she goes in and I can tell she has a bond with the teachers and they really love her and delight in her. Our daycare is also part of a Jewish organization so I love that my E gets religious content, songs, etc, while she’s there.
On a random note, in terms of starting daycare I would suggest leaving a week or two to transition them from your mom to the daycare, starting at a few hours and working up to a full day. We did that with ours, and it avoided a dramatic “first day” transition.
guest
Oh, and I would also suggest going back to work at the end of the week–makes it a lot less charged!
blogger / pomelo / 5361 posts
@keshet starr: Great tips! Thanks for sharing!
cherry / 111 posts
Finding a day care was SUCH an emotional rollar coaster. I balled my eyes out after visiting the first one. I had a better feeling after visiting the day care that we went to- talked it all out with my Mom- visited one more- got another recommendation for our current day care- and then took the plunge. We couldn’t be happier. In fact, the thought of taking her out of her day care makes me sick- even if it is 20 minutes out of our way and we have a perfectly good day care down the street. Find the one- is 10000000xs worth it.
Congrats on making it all work!! And yes, doing a short week your first week back is a GREAT idea.