Hellobee

Part 1: Epidural Failure

The nurse started prepping the room for delivery. Then they started telling me what to do– this is the part you can’t really prepare or take classes for. I had to put my legs up in the air and grab them with my hands, Wagon Sr. had one leg and the nurse had the other, and while pulling my legs back towards my head, I had to curl my torso up and over my belly, pull my butt up towards the ceiling, and push. It was one of the most challenging things I’ve ever done. I felt like I had to poop because the baby was pushing on my rectum, and the nurse told me to push into that. I had to concentrate on what every part of my body was doing in order to get the push right.

With each contraction I did three big pushes, and then relaxed until the next contraction. The only problem was that the epidural had already pretty much begun to wear off, and the pain of each contraction was beginning to distract me from pushing. The end of every push was a scream of pain. They kept asking me if I wanted a mirror to see what was going on, and I was like, heck no! It helps motivate you to push more, they explained. I didn’t want to faint or throw up, I explained right back. Instead I asked Wagon Sr. to give me a complete play-by-play.

I felt like all the pushing lasted 20-30 minutes or so, but Wagon Sr. informed me later that it was more like 3 hours. Adrenaline is an amazing thing! The doctor was pretty free at that point in time, so she was there for a lot of my pushing. She knew that with the progress we were making, it was unlikely that I could push the baby out on my own (he never even crowned), so they prepped the vacuum extractor. It sounds worse than it actually is– it’s just a small plastic suction that they attach to the top of the baby’s head to help pull it out as the mom is pushing. Wagon Sr. and I knew that this method of assisted delivery usually leaves baby’s head with a big old round cap-type blood bruise on the top of the head, but the doctor explained that all babies born vaginally come out coneheaded anyway from coming out of the birth canal. Besides, all we really wanted to was to get this baby out, and fast, since I had already been pushing for so long. So they got it ready and the entire team gathered in the room– two pediatricians, and another couple of nurses.

Wagon Sr. didn’t even see the head crowning at any point, but the doctor said that at the next push she would put the vacuum inside and attach to the baby. She did just that, and with the next three pushes, I had the baby’s head 1/3 of the way out. It was the strangest, most uncomfortable feeling ever. I kept asking if the head was out, and they said almost — it was out up to about the brow line, and just imagining that was making me horrified.

On the next contraction, they said I could push again and get the head completely out! I said I never thought I’d say this, but I couldn’t wait for my next contraction! Sure enough, with the next contraction I pushed one last time and the baby slid out completely. In an instant everyone was exclaiming you did it! It’s over! It’s a boy! All I remember is crying “oh my God” a million times and just being plain glad that it was all over and the baby was finally out. And then I heard the baby cry and I couldn’t believe it. Everything I had gone through with the pregnancy and labor and delivery, and it hit me for the first time that I actually had a baby.

Suctioning out all the yucky stuff.

Holler!

Whassup?

My first view of my son.

They took the baby to the warming table and started cleaning him up and doing all the initial things, like putting stuff in his eyes and giving him a shot. Wagon Sr. ran over with his camera and started taking pictures. He couldn’t cut the cord since the doctor had to cut it right away after the baby came out because it had broken inside of me, but he got to trim it off. I couldn’t see the baby yet, so they brought him over and held him up. I couldn’t believe it! Finally they bundled him up and handed him to Wagon Sr. (we told them we wanted him to be the first to hold him), who handed him to me. After a few quiet hellos, the baby was rushed up to the NICU, and Wagon Sr. went with him. I barely had time to be sad about that because the afterbirth was next.

Getting checked out in the NICU

The placenta hadn’t completely come out with the cord so the doctor had to go in and manually remove what was left of it. That, along with the pressure they put on my abdomen to get everything out, was excruciating. Then they had to stitch up what had torn, and that was definitely horrific. The stitching wasn’t exactly painful, but you can definitely feel everything that’s going on down there at that point. Even though I tried to keep my eyes closed most of the time, I couldn’t help but see the actual thread and needle, and that didn’t help things. I told the doctor that tearing was my worst fear, and she reassured me that my tear wasn’t perineal, so it wasn’t nearly as bad as most tears and would heal a lot easier and quicker. That definitely made me feel better. All of that was worse than the actual delivery, and I felt like it lasted forever.

First look at the world

Eventually Wagon Sr. came back and the doctor finished up with me. The nurse got me a chicken salad sandwich, which was definitely the best thing I’ve ever tasted. In fact, I ate everything in the boxed meal except the milk (it wasn’t Lactaid). Wagon Sr. and I had a second to rest, and then the baby came back from the NICU. We spent some time with him thinking, are we allowed to be alone with this baby? Where is the nurse???

Hi Mommy!

This part is a little TMI, but at this point my catheter had been out since before we started pushing, and since I had been on IV fluids for more than 24 hours, I really had to pee. So the nurse who brought the baby back put another catheter into me and proceeded to completely fill a small tub with my urine. She was pretty taken aback by how much I had in my bladder. Once it was finally finished, she had to carefully carry the tub to the bathroom to empty it — it was completely filled to the brim and heavy. I felt so bad for her.

Loving the swaddle from hour 1.

So that’s pretty much it… I’ll also post follow-ups about postpartum and recovery, along with a great Christmas Day story of rushing back to the hospital because of complications for me (baby was fine). Until then!

Hope you enjoyed my birth story!