Hellobee

Wow, to me you were very successful because you pumped for all that time for Charlie. Why is it not a success if you had to feed him from a bottle? I still count that as a success. I think women are too hard on themselves!

I wasn’t able to breastfeed for very long because I had to go on medication but I didn’t spend time beating myself up over it. My LO didn’t have to starve because of this. She did great on formula. I am going to be her parent for a lifetime … the period of breastfeeding is only a teeny tiny sliver of that. There are so many other things I have done and will be doing for her that will make a bigger impact in her life.

I’m one of the few (it seems) that didn’t breastfeed. I have a condition where I get hives on my skin wherever pressure is applied. Needless to say, getting huge itchy welts all over my chest was not my idea of fun with a newborn to boot. My little one was fed by formula from day one. Because this was always my plan, I never felt guilt or shame. But I did feel angry when others judged me for not providing breast milk when they had no idea what my circumstances are. Things are hard enough, you know? Anyway, the benefit of formula was that we always knew how much food she was getting and my husband was able to participate so easily in her feeding routine without me pumping. I would go to bed at 7pm and sleep…my husband had the shift until midnight or so. Then, when she woke up any time after that, she was mine. This enabled me to get some sort of sleep. It also made it easier to have outside help if needed. I certainly understand that breastfeeding is best, but it’s nice to know that the world won’t end if it can’t happen for whatever reason whether by choice or not.

I think you did a great job because breastfeeding is really hard, which I didn’t realize until I went to a LLL meeting prior to Wombat’s birth and two new moms were crying. Fortunately for me, breastfeeding is really easy, which I know is rare. I’ve only had two breakdowns early on about how much Wombat was feeding during a growth spurt. Other than that, I wish I could be with her all day, instead of going to work, so I could feed her and she’s never have a bottle. And I totally understand about being pregnant and not having your own body. I counted and realized that I was pregnant. I was pregnant around 27 out of the past 37 months for one baby.

Ah you know what Bee, I was the same. At about 3 months I was fed up of breastfeeding mavi. I wanted others to feed him and because he was a hungry boy (and I was only producing milk from 1 breast) I felt annoyed at times, and pumping became a burden.

Then when I was about to wean by choice, he decided to do so and as weird as it sounds, I didn’t like that. Didn’t like that it was no longer my choice but his. But in the end, it was for the best.

honestly, i dread breastfeeding. i’ll try my best, but i won’t be too upset with myself if i end up not breastfeeding for long.

I don’t have any experience breastfeeding but it seems so hard and stressful. Kudos to you for trying and succeeding for so long. BTW Olive looks adorable in those photos!

I’ve been breastfeeding for 8 months and 2 days! Seriously, it’s amazing I’ve made it this far. I really do love breastfeeding my daughter and hope to do it for at least another 8-10 months. I love looking down at her face while she nurses.. it’s the cutest thing ever.
At the same time, however, I’m counting down the months until I can have my body/boobs back.

I both look forward to breast feeding, and am a bit worried about it.

I have to say, I love breastfeeding and am still doing it at 2 years 2 months plus (nursing a toddler is definitely different from a newborn, my boobs almost feel back to normal and I can go about 12 hours before feeling slightly engorged, because he mostly nurses at night before bed and in the morning). So Bee, you will probably be able to sleep on your stomach and go to bed without a nursing bra, if you do breastfeed for awhile.

I’m really thankful that I witnessed the beautiful nursing relationship my cousin had with her son. I really wanted that closeness and even though breastfeeding did not start off easy – my son couldn’t latch on the for the first 3 weeks of his life – now I find it a very comforting and convenient way to mother my child. I’m glad I got through the tough part and that we’re going strong, and that he’ll wean when he’s ready.

While public health departments have been better about spreading the news about the benefits of breastfeeding, I think the pressure is on moms to provide the “best” nutrition for baby in a not-breastfeeding-friendly society. So moms end up feeling a lot of stress and guilt about something that should be the “normal” way humans evolved to feed their young. I think if society/public health officials/governments were serious about promoting breastfeeding, it would be “normal” (not “best”) and there would be family-friendly supports in place like longer maternity leaves, health insurance coverage of breast pumps and visits to lactation consultants, laws protecting women’s right to pump at work, etc. Until recent Obama health care act, many insurance plans would cover Viagra but not breast pumps!

Adorable pics!

I flip-flop between loving it cause it’s great bonding and convenient to simply wanting my body back. Unfortunately, LO is allergic to dairy and soy so I’m gonna be at this for a good while longer.

Sounds like you did great, mommy guilt is a biatch don’t let it bring you down.

I feel lucky that I love it, I’d even call it transformative as cheesy as that sounds. But it really helps me to slow down and take time with her and interact with her little hands. I feel so relaxed and calm when she’s nursing and it’s made me feel very fulfilled. It sounds crazy because I’ve done a lot of big/crazy things in life but this has definitely been one of the most joyful/fulfilling things.

I liked being my son’s source of comfort and nourishment but I didn’t love the act of breastfeeding itself. I always felt disconnected from my breasts during feeding, as if they weren’t actually part of my body. I breastfed my son from hour 1 until 8 months when I just couldn’t keep my supply up any more no matter what I did and how hard I worked at it. I finally made the decision that if I had to supplement when he was at daycare, I would stop working so hard at getting milk. I returned my hospital grade pump and went back to my regular pump, I stopped taking all the galactagogues, and finally stopped pumping at night. I was able to continue breastfeeding my son for about 3 weeks for the time I was with him (morning and evening) and then my milk pretty much dried up. It was very bittersweet as I miss that comfort I could provide him but at the same time, I’m happy I was able to get as far as I did before having to supplement with formula. I love that I was able to do something so special for my son, but at the same time, I’m a little relieved to be done and have my body back and not be stressed about where his next meal is coming from.

i love the bonding, but i don’t think i was very good at it. i only breastfed my first for a few weeks before exclusively pumping for 9 months and. this time around it’s also the same…i breastfed for a few weeks and now i’m exclusively pumping and baby will be 7 months in a week!

Sometimes I’m embarrassed to admit that I plan on introducing a bottle early on. I want to breastfeed more than anything, but call me crazy, babies eat A LOT and I want my husband to be able to help out! If things go just how I want them to (although that never happens, does it?) I’ll primarily breastfeed but I’ll also pump so my husband can give little one AT LEAST one bottle a day.

I think sticking with pumping as long as you did is DEFINITELY a success though!

Kind of glad to hear that I’m not the only one that dreads it. I do it and I’m proud of it, but the stress, oh the stress. I would like my body back for me, and a glass of wine and not worry. I am at the point right now where I will provide what I can and I’m not going to stress about not being able to pump enough at work. I will dip into my freezer supply and that should help for a little bit to keep up. Once that’s gone, I’m happy to accept that I’ll need wean and to move to formula or supplement.

I’m glad to hear that things went better with Olive!

I had an easy time breastfeeding my daughter, but by the time she was approaching her first birthday I was ready to be done. Finding time to pump at work was a pain. Then, when I got home, I felt like all my time with her was spent nursing. Once she weaned, it was nice to be able to go for a walk, read a book, etc. instead of just nursing.

I’m like @Mrs.D. I’m looking forward to breastfeeding but worried about all the work it could be.

The milk coma picture is super adorable!

I was able to nurse RJ for about 7 months before we weaned him. He was always taking 1 or 2 bottles of pumped milk a day so weaning was no problem for him, and I dried up quickly due to a decongestant I was taking so it was quick and painless. But while we were nursing, neither one of us loved it. I went through a really really difficult time because I dreaded every. single. feeding. This was especially tough when he went through growth spurts and ate every hour. It was so much pressure to be the one to provide for him every single hour and I couldn’t take it, emotionally. I had a few issues with clogged ducts and that freaked me out so badly because I was deathly afraid of getting mastitis. In the end, by the time we weaned him we were both used to it and it was fine, but I was glad to stop because he was so HEAVY and we were both always so SWEATY. He continued to have one bottle of thawed breastmilk a day until he turned 1, when my frozen supply ran out. I know I’ll nurse the next one as well, and I know I won’t dread it nearly as much, now that I understand how my body works and everything, but I don’t think I’ll ever have that magical bond and loving feeling for nursing. And I don’t think I’d ever nurse beyond 1 year. Honestly, every mom is different and I don’t think anyone should feel like a failure about any of it– we are a generation of formula-fed babies, after all! My mom told me that around the time we were born, all the doctors were pushing formula so most moms didn’t even consider nursing. In the end, you gotta do what makes mom happy and baby healthy.

I was all about breastfeeding before my daughter was born, to the point of being pretty stressed out about it. Fortunately, right away after she was born, she latched on great and had no problems! I was really happy, and for the first six weeks, my husband was home and changed all the diapers, so I could focus on feeding. Everything started to change when he went back to work, then I was on my own for most of the day. She was still doing great at it, but I was getting cabin fever a bit. Between feedings, diaper changes, and needing to bundle up for the cold weather, it wasn’t very easy to get out of the house. And then when I did, I compulsively packed every conceivable baby item we could ever need. Since she was so good at it, I feel obligated to do it for as long as possible. I kept at it, but once I returned to work after four months, I needed my body(and independence) back.
I am a lot more relaxed about everything now, and won’t put so much pressure on myself next time around. I look back and realize a lot of my stress was born from my sudden loss of identity. I was so prepared for every little thing for my baby, but I didn’t anticipate how much becoming a mother and having people see me as one would make me feel alienated from most of my friends and co-workers.
So I guess for us, the mechanics of breast feeding was pretty intuitive, but the dedication and time consuming nature of it (and new motherhood in general) triggered my rebelliousness in a way I never would have thought. It took me a while to grow into my own identity as a mom, and now that we are TTC our second, I am looking forward to breast feeding. I have a whole new laid back attitude about the whole thing. If baby two is as good at it as baby one, we’ll do it till it doesn’t make sense. And if not, then I have the perfect excuse to indulge in some of the cool new bottles I’ve found out there! There’s no one right way to do it, just the way that works best for your baby AND you.

I went back to work on Monday and today, an older teacher asked me if I nurse. I casually told her I am not nursing.. it didn’t work out for us. She gave me the dirtiest look ever! As if I’m a sinner lol. another teacher that was sitting with us quickly replied for me saying that I tried my best and it was detrimental for both mama and baby to nurse. I almost laughed out loud when I heard “detrimental”! hahaha.. We did have a hard time with bf… he never latched on properly so he was always frustrated and we ended up just giving him pumped milk for a month.. I was pumping 10x a day to get my supplies up so I can feed him exclusively with breastmilk… but then I got hit with mastitis… I was so sick that I felt like death. So I gave up. I felt really guilty at first but now I don’t even think about it anymore lol and I think it’s so funny when people try to judge me just because I am not nursing.. and for my teacher friend to think it’s necessary to say that it was “detrimental” so others won’t judge me!

My sister didn’t like breastfeeding at all with her first, stopped right away and did exclusive formula for her & her next one. She is pregnant again & plans to use formula – she just didn’t like breastfeeding at all & I don’t think there is anything wrong with that! It isn’t for everyone. And besides, you’ve done a LOT of breastfeeding! 9 months is a long time

I didn’t love nursing either! Pumping at work is not fun at all (I’m a teacher). I kept telling myself that I would just get to the 1 year mark and then… freedom! Unfortunately, my LO ended up getting sick for the first time the weekend of his first birthday and only wanted to nurse. I ended up doing it for 2 more months. For Valentine’s day, I gave up nursing as a gift to myself. I’d never felt so free!

Breastfeeding is one of the hardest thing I’ve had to do my entire life and I’m sure most women who have experienced it will say so as well. But once I was able to get my supply up with the constant crazy nursing and pumping I was a happy camper and so was my son. I’m a SAHM so being able to nurse him exclusively was a goal of mine no matter what it took. I have to say that it almost drove me batty and I cried to every single person I talked to or who mentioned breastfeeding the first two weeks. I figured it was just my hormones and it was! Unfortunately or fortunately (depending on how you look at it), I only nursed him for 8 months due to my son’s dairy and soy protein allergies which left me eating a limited amount of food since everything has soy and dairy in it. I survived and would do it again if I have to. It wasn’t too hard to adjust not eating everything once I got used to it. My last nursing session was the night before Christmas 2009. I pigged out on Christmas day! Felt SO good and I loved being able to be on my belly at any time again. I didn’t miss breastfeeding and nor did my crazy little boy b/c we were too busy exploring other new things in his little life. He actually enjoyed drinking nasty Alimentum formula until about 15 months when his allergies finally went away.

Hey Mrs. Bee, I would love if you could write about having bedbugs. Blargh! We live in New York and we had them a few years ago and my ob/gyn says not to worry but I feel bad about all the pesticides still in our apartment from spraying (I’m newly pregnant). Would love to hear about your worries (if you had any) and how to get over it.

@1sttimemom: sure thing! i’d always planned on writing about it because it is 1,000,000 worse when you have kids! but we used organic pesticides — charlie was 8 months old at the time — so i didn’t worry too much.

I’m in the “indifferent” crowd. My main decision to breastfeed was for the financial benefits. We made it to three months, with occasional formula supplements. Now my supply has dropped drastically, and I’m really not that broken up about it. I was hoping to make it to four, but three is still good. Now I can go back to wearing shirts and bras that don’t have to prioritize boob access!!

Thank you mrsbee for writing this article as I am so with you on this topic. Granted that all my 3 babies are preemies so they don’t do great at the boobs but when they do, I have not ever felt that so described bonding. In fact, I do not look forward to breastfeeding sessions at all. Besides, they do not love the boob! They either do not want to latch or just fall asleep with the nipple in their mouths So the feeling is mutual.

With my first, I gave up on latching after I brought her home from hospital as it was just too much to latch and pump afterwards so I made the decision to exclusively pumped and we made it to a year with formula supplement since I was a LVP. I was also very happy that ANYONE could feed my baby!

With my twins, they are still in NICU and “prescribed” only 2 latch sessions a day and I can’t say I look forward to them But I still do it! Some days they will take to the boob and drink ranging from 2ml to 22ml. Some days they just fall asleep at the boob or just stare at it refusing to open their mouths. Lactation consultants have tried to force the boob on them and oh my, their protests were loud. We’ll see what happens when they come home, if I can keep up with pumping and if we all feel up for latching.

Thanks again mrsbee. GREAT article! Keep them coming!

Here are specifics about what I enjoyed with breastfeeding:

1. convenience – no pumping (although I think exclusive pumping moms also count as bf mamas, and I applaud them), no washing, no sterilizing, no dragging around formula and bottles and water, or looking for clean water. When he was young, I could go out with him in the baby carrier with just a couple of diapers, my wallet, and phone. If my husband took him out, he always had a huge diaper bag with him.

2. easy source of comfort and a great way to relax and get him to sleep. He’s logged over 80,000 airline miles in less than 2 years, and I find nursing to be a great way of parenting during air travel and transitioning in unfamiliar environments.

3. yes, if I did pump my husband could help with feeding, but there are many other ways my husband could also help in the beginning: diapers, laundry, washing dishes, cooking meals, picking up around the house (hah!).

4. some moms here have talked about having their bodies back. personally, i like being the only one that can provide this kind of comfort and nutrition to my son, and we have fun interacting while he’s nursing (hard to describe, but he’ll play little games with me and giggle and laugh). Also, after the initial few months, my supply stabilized and my boobs don’t feel too differently than they did before pregnancy.

5. all the health benefits for him and me. my son is rarely sick, and i’d rather spend the little bit of time with him everyday nursing him and giving him antibodies than waiting in the dr’s office with a sick kid. as he’s decreased his nursing as he’s gotten older, i do miss burning 400+ calories a day just by feeding him. going to the gym is much harder. I definitely have to watch what I have to eat now, months 1-6 i could eat anything and everything and still lose weight.

6. glass of wine – you can drink an occasional glass of wine while breastfeeding, the general guideline of if you are sober enough to drive, you’re sober enough to breastfeed. less than 2% of alcohol consumed reaches the blood and milk, and there’s no need to pump and dump if a couple of hours has already passed: http://www.kellymom.com/health/lifestyle/alcohol.html

yes, i couldn’t really get away from my son the first ~9 months of his life, but I also enjoyed that time and really, 9 months is a short period of time in his entire life.

yes, it does get tiring wearing nursing tops, but then I feel justified that the money saved in formula and dr visits can go towards new clothes for me. Although now that he’s older and i don’t nurse as often I wear regular tops most of the time.

wow that was really long, just wanted to provide a different perspective. everyone has a different experience but i also don’t want to scare the new and expecting moms! I say, give breastfeeding a try while also seeking lots of support, and try to be relaxed about it.

I have a love hate relationship with breastfeeding. I love the bonding time and knowing that I’m providing such a wonderful thing for my child. I hate being completely at the mercy of a schedule (my LO feeds every 3 hours on the dot during the daytime).

That being said, the love definitely outweighs the hate, and I plan on breastfeeding for at least a year.

@mrsnarbonne: we did just have a 3 part guest series from someone who loves breastfeeding! but would you be interested in writing a guest post on breastfeeding long term?

I feel you. I bf’d my son for 11 months and thought I’d be sad when it was over. I was sad for a day, but happy to be so liberated, to have my boobs back. I’m pregnant with my second and nervous about bf’ing again… the committment and sacrifice.

@Mrs. Bee: yes, you did have that 3 part guest post, i was just talking about in reference to the comments on this post only! would love to do a guest post – i honestly never thought I’d be nursing this long. I’d also like to do a post on air travel with babies, having logged over 80,000 miles with my son by age 2!

kudos for you for pumping enough to exclusively give charlie breastmilk for 9 months! I would consider that to be very, very successful, even though y’all weren’t able to work out the latching parts. that’s crazy dedication there. and it seems to have been the best fit for you both, & your entire family really, due to y’all’s circumstances & schedules. and really, I don’t think that you can ask for more than doing what is best, right?

and the bedbugs. I’m so sorry. so glad y’all were able to get through that though!