I shared my 5 part saga of getting pregnant with Charlie, so I thought I’d share how I got pregnant with Olive!
I’ve always been obsessed with child spacing and wanted two kids, two years apart because of how close I am with my 14 1/2 months younger brother. My friends with siblings who had age gaps larger than 2 years tended not to be as close until they were much older. But I think having kids 3 years apart is a lot easier than having kids 2 years apart for parents. 3 year olds can communicate effectively. They’re potty trained. They’re in preschool so you only have one young child at home. And they’re a lot more mature than 2 year olds. So after having Charlie and seeing how difficult it was just raising one kid, our plan was to have two kids, 3 years apart.
At the beginning of this year, I randomly realized that even if we had kids that were only 25 months apart in age, they’d still be 3 grades apart since Charlie was born in December. I kept this thought in the back of my mind, with no plans of trying to conceive any time soon.
Fast forward to February 2011. We had just moved to a new apartment, and I couldn’t find my birth control. The news was also filled with stories about babies conceived around February 14th could be born on 11/11/11. So when we couldn’t find the birth control, considered the possibility of an 11/11/11 baby, and realized that this was our only shot at having 2 kids, 2 years apart, we went for it. If I didn’t get pregnant that month, we were going to wait another year. Had we been able to find the birth control, we probably wouldn’t have started trying to conceive until 2012. Call it crazy, but it was just something we decided in the moment.
When my period was supposed to start 2 weeks later, I took a home pregnancy test not because I thought I was pregnant, but so I could go out and drink with my friends (being the model mom that I am of course). I expected that I’d get a negative test and that we’d be back on our two kids, three years apart track. But of course much to my shock, the test was positive!
When I told friends that I was pregnant, they often asked me whether we were actively trying, or whether it was an “accident.” I guess a lot of second pregnancies happen by accident, perhaps because you’re not so anxious about trying to conceive like you are the first time around. A friend of mine who conceived her first child through IVF got pregnant with her second child within three months of not trying/not preventing. Another friend of mine who conceived her first through Clomid got pregnant with her second child by accident when she didn’t use birth control once. And after all that trouble we had trying to conceive Charlie, we got pregnant on the first try this fourth time around. I’m sure it was easier because there was no pressure. If we got pregnant, I’d be happy. If we didn’t, I’d be ok with that too.
Deciding to have #2 may have been something we decided in the moment, but one thing Mr. Bee and I definitely agree on is that we’re done after 2!
Did you have an easier time conceiving baby #2?
honeydew / 7968 posts
i hear that once you have a baby, your tubes and all “clear up” and there’s a window where it’s much easier to get pregnant. lol not sure if that’s true, but i’ve heard many stories about women who had so much trouble conceiving their firsts have it a lot easier with their 2nd, and a lot only a few months after giving birth.
cherry / 207 posts
It took us about 3 months of active trying with our first. For our second (and third – twins!), after we made the decision to try for #2, I guess-ti-mate my ovulation day the first month and decided to try for a few consecutive days and we got lucky on 1st try
GOLD / pomelo / 5167 posts
It’s funny because I’ve always wanted babies 2.5 years apart (max) but the idea of having 2 under 2 years difference scares me shitless.
I’ll take it from you that you are happy you and your brother. Because my kids will be 22 months apart (if I don’t give birth sooner)
grapefruit / 4049 posts
We had a very easy time getting pregnant with #1… It was on my 2nd cycle of not trying, not preventing. I didn’t chart or anything…
I found #2 to be a bit just a bit harder b/c I was sort of in a rush about timing. I had an IUD and wanted it out, but just due to scheduling I couldn’t get an appt with my OB til a certain date, so that was annoying/poorly planned by me… when you want to get pg, you want it right away, so it was frustrating.
I got pg again on my 2nd cycle off bc, so it wasn’t a long time after, but I felt like it was more work than with the first bc we put more pressure on ourselves. I temped and used OPKs whereas with the first I did NONE of that. It was also hard to schedule having sex around O time b/c we were much more busy and tired due to having a toddler, and the first time we were child-less so it was less of a “chore”. I’m very grateful that both times we’re pretty easy experiences though!
kiwi / 678 posts
Mine were both pretty easy, so it’s hard to say! First time was a surprise so we weren’t even trying. Second time it was the first cycle of NTNT. I was shocked when I got pregnant the second time though, because I was sure it was going to take forever since we were actually trying.
blogger / pomegranate / 3201 posts
I disagree that when you’re more relaxed it’s easier to get pregnant. Crazy tense people get pregnant all the time and when I used to think that all I needed to do was relax to get pregnant, it would stress me out even more and created a vicious cycle. I think each woman and each pregnancy is different. I’ve known women who got pregnant very easily with their first and not their second and vice versa. It happens when it happens!