Hellobee

Coming out of the other side of the fourth trimester is equally a moment of celebration and a moment of wanting to dramatically cry about how old my baby is. I feel like I blinked and we’re here, but in the same vein, those days felt so very long in the beginning.

Our little peep has graduated from newbornhood to babyhood and we really do see that difference and change. He’s his own person, he has a full robust personality. He’s energetic and funny, he’s stubborn and has a bit of a temper, he’s full of life and smiles. We know him now. He knows us. He’s interactive and well, in true parent fashion… the cutest baby we’ve ever laid eyes on.

In preparing for parenthood, I had a lot of expectations and things I felt like I needed to anticipate in the early days, but in the end there were quite a few things that surprised me. It’s certainly different for everyone, but here are the things that surprised me about having a newborn.

How long bonding took

I wrote about my struggle with bonding and how my c-section recovery impacted me emotionally in our first weeks. I honestly thought my love and connection with my child was going to be instant and all flood in. To my surprise (and my husband’s) it really did take us getting to know our son a little more for the love that everyone talks about to hit us hard. It’s obviously different for everyone, but I’m glad I knew this was a possibility because even knowing that information, how I felt fully surprised me. Our love and bond now is fierce. I miss him when he’s sleeping and I hold him far too often when he naps.

How quickly they grow and change

Our little guy is on the smaller side for newborns and is already in some six-month clothing. They grow fast. They change every day. They learn quickly. It’s hard to keep up with, but it is truly the greatest gift to watch.

You know your baby best

While I read my share of pregnancy and birth books, I kind of skipped out on the after the baby is here stuff. When they’re here your instincts really do kick in. You learn their cues, you get to know them, and then when people start to tell you what to do, you can have the smug benefit of predicting what your baby is going to do instead because you know them better.

How many dang diapers you go through 

Okay, I know they warn you — eat, sleep, poop. But, really, you go through so many diapers in the beginning. We transitioned to cloth diapers around 8 weeks, but those initial weeks, we were constantly going to the store to get some new diapers (never wanting to overbuy not knowing how long he’d last in each size).

How comfortable you become with poop, puke and snot

Speaking of diapers, I was always a bit squeamish and the thought of the sheer volume of diaper changing I was in for really grossed me out. Even thinking about a Nose Frida made my stomach churn. Then you have a kid and this weird thing happens and you become so concerned about them pooping and breathing and ensuring they’re eating enough, that you kind of celebrate the poops (when your newborn doesn’t poo for three days for the first time, you’ll do just about anything to see a poopy diaper!) and become oddly fascinated with the size of boogers you can suck out of your infant’s nose. I know adding solids is a whole new dimension of poop, but I figure I’ll be so used to it by then, we’ll do just fine.

How advocating for your child is more important than your hold-ups

I have always been kind of a yes-person, especially in uncomfortable and awkward situations. The thing is, when a stranger is approaching your child with their germ-filled hands in public and asks to touch their hand (side note: what the heck is it with touching baby hands!?) you don’t even think twice about saying no. When they’re overwhelmed and overstimulated at a family event, going home early doesn’t make you feel guilty anymore.

How much you miss your husband 

This one was a toughie for me in the early weeks. I was stuck under a baby all day, healing from surgery and was really feeling that absence of our relationship and intimacy. Having a moment where we both had our hands free to just even hug each other for a minute felt like the most epic milestone of all time. Being able to both be sleeping at the same time was another big one. Even when you’re in close quarters adding that third person into the mix really shows you how much you really spent time together when it was just the two of you. I had a number of meltdowns during pregnancy over the end of “just us” and several more in the first few weeks (hormones, yo).

And dog

That guilt is fierce. Your pets sadly just become the bottom of the priority list when you’re dealing with a newborn. Finding time to give the dog love was always something I tried to make an effort to do. Our pup is doing much better now, but still quite sulky over the shift in attention. We just keep reminding him that his best bud is still growing, and soon enough he’ll have a constant companion and treat source.

How much the love grows

Okay, I know I said the bond takes time, but goodness me, if you experience what I did, just trust. That love is next level. It really really is. Their smile will light up your entire world. The first time they laugh at you will slay you. Watching their personality emerge is fascinating and hilarious. I mean, babies don’t really do much, but watching them grow and learn and do more and more is pretty much the coolest thing ever.

What surprised you about the fourth trimester?