This is actually a post that was specifically requested by Mrs. Bee and a few other bees on the boards. It’s something I’ve been meaning to put together for a long time and I’m excited to finally post it.

I want to cover a lot of ground regarding both live-in and live-out nannies, part time/full time, benefits, boundaries, pay, expectations, responsibilities and more. I am hoping that ultimately this post will provide those looking to hire nannies the best possible positive experience they can have, for both the family AND the nanny!

Finding a nanny is just as hard as it is for a nanny to find the right family. I’ve interviewed with so many families and those families would tell me they interviewed so many nannies! When you are bringing someone into your home to share your entire life with – and I mean pretty much every detail – you need someone you can trust who will be respectful and professional, in addition to being a stellar caregiver. And this is true whether the nanny lives in your home or not.

I generally wouldn’t recommend craiglist for a job such as this, but I wouldn’t say it’s off-limits either.

These are the resources I particularly found helpful when posting my application:

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I know this isn’t a fun topic, however I am stating it first because I believe this is potentially the single-most important thing to discuss when hiring a caregiver. When hiring a nanny, the lines of employer/employee are very grey and blurry. It’s important to know what level of professionalism is required because in most cases the nanny will become a dear part of the family. I still refer to my nanny families as “my kids.” Because of the nature of this personal relationship, it is of the utmost importance that there is a document created that firmly states exactly what the expectations are regarding the details of the job. A thorough contract will state and explain the following:

  • Salary – including tax information
  • Schedule – including how many hours are expected each week
  • Benefits
  • Time Off/Sick Time
  • Employee Review & Raises
  • Responsibilities and expectations
  • Not only responsibilities regarding child care, but chores, cooking, driving, pet care, laundry, dress code etc.
  • Boundaries – in the home and outside the home

I will cover each specific point in subsequent sections as well.

Whether or not you choose to compose a formal contract, please I urge you to at least put in writing the items listed above. I do believe, from personal experience, it is a set up for confusion, possible resentment and ultimately termination when these things are not discussed. When it comes to expectations and benefits, an employee has a right to know that information prior to a formal hire date, just as they would accepting a job with a company or business. The “contract” does not have to be a legally binding document, as much as it is a guideline and point of reference.

I will share one personal story on this: I accepted a position with a family as a live-in nanny. I was so excited and it was a great fit for all of us. During my initial phone interview I was told I would be expected to work an average of 50 hours a week and my pay would be salary. As a 19 year old girl that sounded fabulous to me. A few months into the job, I started to feel I was working significantly more than 60 hours a week. I added it up and on average I was working more like 60-65. Not long after, the family welcomed a new baby, and all of a sudden I was working 80 hour work-weeks. When I did approach the family, they stated they never said in the interview that it would only be 50 hours, and that’s why I was salary, because the hours would always change. I had no document to point to in order to show that was what I was told. Although this family remains very dear to me and I left on good terms, it ultimately was the reason I chose to leave.

As far as compensation goes, this includes both the nanny’s salary and any benefits/perks offered as well. I know that as parents we comment a lot on how expensive child care is, but as a former-nanny I have a different perspective on it. Being a nanny was my career; my sole source of income. So it may be “expensive” but you are not only the sole source of income for this person, but you are also paying for stellar child care. A nanny will view her compensation as a mirror into how valued she is by the family. If a nanny doesn’t feel fairly compensated, then she is more likely to feel insecure with her job and that will eventually reflect upon the care she gives to children. Being upfront about finances early on in the employer-nanny relationship is setting a good foundation for any issues that may come up later on.

Choosing whether your nanny will be salary or hourly is important. Salary is a nice option because it’s predictable, however if your schedule isn’t near completely consistent, it can cause resentment on the nanny’s side or yours.

Many nannies are afraid to ask about taxes but this is important ground to cover. There are many nanny payroll agencies out there such as Breedlove that will handle the majority of the heavy-lifting . Many families opt to pay “under the table” and though I cannot condone this, be sure you and the nanny are in agreement regarding this.

Secondly, plan to cover benefits. What benefits you offer is largely personal preference, but it also depends on whether your nanny is full-time, part-time, live-in or live-out.

For a part-time, live-out nanny benefits are optional as with any part-time job. For a full-time job, do consider offering traditional benefits associated with any full-time job, and for a live-in nanny there are additional perks to consider. In addition, offering exceptional benefits for a live-in nanny can often offset her salary.

Here are common and some uncommon perks offered by nanny families:

  • Paid vacation
  • Paid sick days
  • Paid holidays
  • Health Insurance
  • Room & board with private bathroom
  • Personal car
  • Gas
  • Gym membership
  • Club membership
  • Cell Phone
  • Food (credit card for grocery shopping)
  • Bonuses

One of the questions I am asked most frequently is how much to pay a nanny. It’s not only a taboo question to answer, but there are so many factors to consider such as experience (and what kind: day care, nanny, babysitting, how many children, how many hours etc), certifications (CPR, first aid, etc), post-secondary education, location and previous pay.

As a general rule, never offer less than minimum wage. However I would go on to suggest that unless the nanny is live-in with additional benefits that would help offset salary, a good starting hourly salary for a nanny would be $10/hour. If a nanny has experience of more than several years, consider going higher; for a nanny with a degree, she should be offered even more. Another option would be to start at what you’re comfortable with and inform the nanny that upon a 4-6 week review if you are happy with the fit, a more permanent salary will be agreed upon.

If you live in an area where cost of living is significantly higher than average such as NYC, California, Florida, etc, take that into consideration when negotiating a salary.

I believe it is important to keep the lines of communication between employer/employee open at all times not only concerning the daily care of the children, but in regards to overall happiness and whether the nanny is a right fit for the family and vice versa. Especially in the first few months of a new child care situation, frequent “updates” are helpful and beneficial. For myself personally it was nice to be reassured that a family was happy with the job I was doing with their children, that their expectations were being met and they felt I was a good fit. In addition it’s incredibly reassuring to the family that their nanny is happy with the job, as we all know satisfaction in the workplace directly affects work ethic.

I would also suggest a more “formal” six and twelve month review to discuss any issues, but also take the time to praise the nanny and show appreciation for hard work. It is also standard to consider a raise whenever there are additions to the family, after a year of work or added responsibilities (i.e. a new pet, extra permanent hours, supervising play dates etc).

What can really set a nanny apart from a daycare is the personalized care and ability to help with things other than child care. In many ways nannies can be “second mothers” because of all the housewife tasks they do as well. As a live-in nanny especially, I did all of the day-to-day tasks: not only the care and keeping of the children but also meal preparation, daily chores, laundry, grocery shopping,  running errands, transportation, etc. It is important to outline what is expected. Although it’s a lovely surprise when a nanny takes initiative and goes that extra mile, taking care of kids is hard work and those extra things can be taxing on the nanny. If it is important that those things get done as well, it’s important to voice those expectations and also write them down.

Another incident I ran into frequently were play dates. Many of the families I’ve worked for always assumed it’d be fine to schedule to have other children over and only tell me the morning of. Although in some instances it did make my job easier as the kids entertained each other, in the majority of the situations I wound up caring for several children I didn’t know without being additionally compensated or even told.

Another expectation that is helpful is to discuss is last-minute plans. As a live-in nanny, it was assumed I would be available at all times to watch the kids when the parents had appointments and other obligations. Most of the time it only created resentment when I was told when I would be working as opposed to asked.

Lastly dress code: most of the time this isn’t an issue. I did want to be respectful of the family I lived with and I asked particularly if she had boundaries regarding swimsuits seeing as they had a pool. I wanted to show my respect for her wishes if there were any. Additionally some families I’ve been with have belonged to country clubs that have strict dress code rules. A nanny can be a representation of the family, so although professional dress is not required, normal and healthy grooming habits are important.

I have this point last because of my hesitancy to write it. What this looks like is different for every family. This is important whether the nanny you hire will be live-in or live-out, however there are definitely more concerns with this if the nanny is going to live in your home. It is of the utmost importance that both parents are on the same page regarding boundaries so that one is not caught off guard.

When I was being interviewed for live-in positions, a consistent question I was asked was, “do you have a boyfriend?” At the time I would laugh and say no, which immediately put them at ease. It was important to nearly every family I interviewed with that I was not in a dating relationship in Minnesota, while seeking to accept a job in another state. At one point I was dating long-distance and one family I spoke with was under the impression I was applying for the job for the sole purpose of moving closer to my boyfriend, which I honestly hadn’t even considered.

It’s important to decide how you’d feel about the nanny being in a relationship after starting employment particularly in a live-in situation. I started dating my now-husband while working as a live-in nanny and I did have to have a discussion with my nanny family about boundaries; not just for the sake of remaining comfortable with each other but for the children as well. With that type of relationship some important questions to ponder are:

  • How do you feel about the nanny bringing a SO into your home? Into their bedroom? Overnight?
  • What about a curfew?
  • How do you feel about the nanny having their SO around the kids?

Outside of dating relationships are more personal family boundaries.

  • What do you expect the nanny to do/not do while “off-duty.”
  • Will they be free to sit in the living room and watch TV with the family?
  • Will they feel they have freedom to go out at night without feeling they have to answer to someone?
  • Are there any rooms in the house that you would prefer the nanny never enter – master suite? Private office?
  • What about cell phones and computer use? Is the nanny allowed to have a personal cell phone while “on-duty”?

Also consider what types of boundaries will make the nanny comfortable if she is living in your home: will she have her own room? Is there a lock so there is privacy during her off-hours? Will she have her own bathroom?

.  .  .  .  .

Because of the intimate nature of this unique employer/employee relationship, it can be murky waters to wade through if expectations are not clear and discussed. I wish every family a happy, healthy and safe child care experience which is why I am happy to share this post in hopes it will help families out there pursuing a nanny.

Have you ever had a nanny? Have you ever been a nanny?

Hellobee Series: Mrs. Pen part 11 of 11

1. Signing with Your Baby by Mrs. Pen
2. A Case For Home-schooling Series: Part 1 by Mrs. Pen
3. The Double Swaddle by Mrs. Pen
4. Losing the Baby Weight by Mrs. Pen
5. My Modified Baby-Led Weaning Approach by Mrs. Pen
6. The Whens, Whys and Hows of Our Sleep Training Process by Mrs. Pen
7. Party Utensils DIY by Mrs. Pen
8. Modern Woodland Birthday by Mrs. Pen
9. Baby Budget: The First Year by Mrs. Pen
10. Honest Diaper Review by Mrs. Pen
11. The Nannies Guide by Mrs. Pen

Hiring a Nanny part 4 of 5

1. The Nanny Search Begins by Mrs. Bee
2. Nanny Interview Questions by Mrs. Bee
3. The Nanny Offer by Mrs. Bee
4. The Nannies Guide by Mrs. Pen
5. Interviewing for a nanny by Mrs. Chipmunk