Hellobee

There were several false starts to the birth of my twins. As I wrote in a past post, I was monitored very closely throughout my whole pregnancy. At 34.5 weeks my blood pressure went up and my pre-eclampsia was getting worse. There were some concerns on the heart monitors so I was sent to the hospital. I was told that the babies and I would be monitored and possibly have the c section in the morning.

We made all of our calls and had Mr. Train’s parents drive up from San Diego.  At about 9 pm I told Mr. Train to go home since they said there was no rush and nothing would happen until the morning. At 2 am they got test results back and told me that everything was fine and I was going to be discharged. I must have looked at them like they were crazy. It was the middle of the night and I was alone at the hospital. They said the beds were full and I needed to wait for a ride in the emergency room because there were women in labor who really needed the bed. I was livid as I called my husband at three in the morning to come pick me up. I was standing outside the hospital at 3:30 in the morning when he finally pulled up to get me. I guess today was not the day I was going to meet my boys.

The next day I went back to my OB and told her if she did that to me again, I thought I would break down and cry. She apologized and said they never should have discharged me in the middle of the night. In the next two weeks I was put back in the hospital two more times for extra monitoring and a possible c section, and sent home. Each time I cried. Finally when I was 36 weeks and 6 days, I had an afternoon appointment with my OB. She called early in the morning and told me not to eat anything after 12. She said she just had a feeling that we might end up delivering today. I was hopeful, but not too excited, as I had been in the hospital three times already.

This time when I went into the OB’s office I was showing protein in my urine which meant my preeclampsia was getting bad enough that they wanted to deliver.  They tried to call the hospital that I was scheduled to go to but they said they had no room. (Between being kicked out at 3 in the morning and not having room for me now I was not too impressed with them.) Instead we would deliver at a hospital across town. Luckily I was able to stop at home and see my little baby James, who was only 8.5 months old, before heading to the next hospital.

We got there around 6pm. Since I wasn’t scheduled to deliver there, I had to do all the admissions paper work.  Luckily the people at this hospital were very nice and very accommodating.  My doctor said she would be there around 8 to do the surgery. I was taken to a small prep room to have my history and information taken. The nurse sent my husband to go have dinner. She said it’s a big mistake to go in there without food and that he would be much more likely to pass out on an empty stomach. While he was gone they would prep me for surgery.

My arms were a bit bruised from all my previous hospitalizations and blood draws.  I have always had bad luck with IV’s and I had already had so many blood draws and IVs that it made me even more nervous about this one.  The nurse was so nice she told me she would bring in the anesthesiologist to do my IV. It was awesome. He numbed the area and got my IV in quicker than anyone ever has. After the OR was prepped, a nurse came in and explained who all of the people were and how the process was going to go.  There would be my OB and a second one from the same practice to assist in the surgery. There would be her and another nurse for me.  The anesthesiologist would be back by my head monitoring my vitals. Then there would be a complete set of nurses for each baby. I had a brief moment of modesty when I realized how many people would witness to the surgery, but it passed soon. I was ready to meet my boys and modesty was not an option any more.

THE OR

I walked into the OR room and the nurse helped me onto the table.  They allowed my husband to stay with me the entire time.  He doesn’t get too squeamish with shots, which is good because he watched the entire spinal block.  The nurse stood in front of me to help me steady myself and bend over a pillow. She explained everything to me step by step as it was happening. First the anesthesiologist numbed the area with a local anesthetic.  It was a slightly painful shot as the medication burns a bit, but nothing major. As the doctor put the spinal in, I felt a lot of pressure on my back. Of course, my loving husband had to tell me how big the shot was and what it looked like when spinal fluid came out of it. Thanks Mr. Train. I could feel some tingling down my leg which was a really weird sensation, but the nurse did tell me it was normal. I have to admit that I was VERY afraid of this and I cried a little bit just from the stress and not from pain.

They laid me back on the table and started getting me ready for surgery. It was very odd to start losing more and more feeling in my body. My doctor came in and laughed and said she couldn’t believe we were finally here, and that she was pretty excited to meet these little guys.  They raised the sheet and asked if I could feel anything. I said I could feel her touching my stomach, and she said that was great.  She was apparently poking me with something sharp.  Thanks again Mr. Train for telling me that.  She let me know that they were going to start and that my babies would be here soon.

THE C-SECTION

The sensations felt during a c section are very difficult for me to put into words.  It is a very odd sensation because I could feel tugging and pulling and a ton of pressure on my abdomen, but no pain at all. The rest is a little hazy for me. My blood pressure started to drop rapidly. I remember looking over at the machines and seeing some 30s pop up on the screen. I thought “Wow that’s really low” and started worrying about the babies. I asked why I couldn’t hear them yet and if they were OK. My doctor said they weren’t out yet and not to worry. She reassured me that the best thing I could do was relax. The anesthesiologist started administering more medication to regulate my blood pressure. I knew things were getting complicated as he kept running back and forth between his little box of vials and my IV lines.

All I wanted was to hear my babies. I was pretty out of it, but I think I continued to ask if the babies were out yet and why I couldn’t hear them.

THE BIRTH

At 8:01 pm Baby A, Joseph, was born.  He weighed 6 lbs 8 ounces and was 19 inches long. I finally got to hear that first cry. It really is a fantastic moment. One minute later at 8:02 pm Baby B, Nicholas was born. He weighed 5 lbs 12 ounces and was 19 inches long.  Again I got to hear that sound that so many moms wait to hear. In the room with me there were two little boys crying and I couldn’t wait to meet them.

When Joseph was born, he was taken quickly to the bassinets. Our doctors didn’t hold him up for pictures or say much to Mr. Train about it; they just handed him to the nurse and continued with the surgery.  The nurse took him to the bassinet and cut his cord. Mr. Train didn’t complain — the bassinet was at my feet and although he watched the spinal block, I am pretty sure he didn’t want a view of the whole surgery. When Nicholas was born they were more relaxed. They held him up for Mr. Train to see and congratulated us on our twin boys. Nicholas was taken to the bassinet that was near my head.  Mr. Train got to cut the cord and watch as the nurses assessed him.

Mr. Train after cutting Nicholas’ umbilical cord

Once they were checked and swaddled, they brought my sweet boys for me to see.  I had such a hard time seeing them because I had the oxygen mask on my face, but I remember seeing them up close and being so overwhelmed. I had done it. I had carried my twins to 37 weeks when all the doctors thought we wouldn’t make it to viability. I beat the odds and had my boys. I closed my eyes and just felt their little faces next to my cheeks.

My first glimpse of my two boys.

My OB said Mr. Train would go with the babies to the nursery and they would finish up my stitches. The next thing I remember was waking up in a small recovery room with a nurse checking some beeping on my IV. She smiled and said “oh good you’re waking up. I will check on you in a little bit.”  I don’t remember how long I went back to sleep for but she came in and checked on me several times and I went back to sleep each time. Finally I was able to ask about my babies.

I was wheeled into a large double room that they had set up for us since we had twins.  They said that the babies were fine.  One had some low blood sugar and was given a small amount of formula. It was midnight. I had been out for about 4 hours. I truly feel that even though my c section had complications and that I didn’t get immediate skin to skin right away, it has not impacted my bond with my sons. It was a simple fact. My body had given its all to carry those boys to full term. All it asked for in return was a short 4 hour nap before taking on the task of caring for two babies. There is nothing in my heart that regrets that or feels guilt for not being there right away.  It’s just a part of our story.

Although I don’t regret needing to be in recovery, I was thrilled when I first saw Mr. Train with our babies. They laid both of them in my arms and I was so overjoyed.  My parents were there and so was my mother in law. She had apparently made it from San Diego and walked up to the delivery area just as Mr. Train was walking to the nursery with the babies. Perfect timing. They only stayed for a few minutes since it was midnight. They had let my parents stay until I came out of recovery since they were all a little worried about me.

I loved looking at their faces and trying to find all of the intricate details that would make it so I could tell them apart. Although they were the same length, they were different weights so I could see the difference easily, but I wanted to find EVERY difference. I was still exhausted so I knew that I needed to get some sleep. We tried some breast feeding throughout the night but they were not great at latching and I was still pretty worn out. So we gave them some formula and tried to sleep a bit.

They are identical but I could tell them apart immediately

The next day I started to move around and tried to get up. The first time was pretty painful but it was bearable and each time it got easier and easier. That day I had a lot of visitors but I didn’t mind. People were so excited that we made it, that they couldn’t wait to meet the little boys. Joe and Nick never needed any NICU time. The only concern was Nick’s weight. I did end up supplementing with formula and pumping every two hours in the hospital.  The one thing I didn’t think about was how nursing causes the uterus to contract. Well pumping made my uterus contract so much that I could hardly stand the pain. I had to make sure that I had my pain medication while pumping, then I had to make sure that Mr. Train had the babies so I could grab the bed rails when the cramps came. That was probably the worst of the pain from my recovery and the intense cramps only lasted for a day or two.

He’s a big brother before he can even walk.

My babies and I went home after three nights.  The nurses and hospital staff all marveled at how healthy my boys were.  They got a pretty big kick out of our 8.5 month old little guy coming in to meet his brothers too.  I truly felt blessed.  We had such a risky pregnancy but I had two healthy boys to show for it.

Leaving the hospital and ready to be a family of five.

We left that hospital as a family of five.  It was less than one year since I had become a mother, and now I had three little boys to love for the rest of my life.