Hellobee

It was Saturday, February 18^th that things got tumultuous. At my routine prenatal appointment, my blood pressure was higher than normal. I had been very steady with my blood pressure up until this 38 week appointment. My midwife opted to dip my urine, and unfortunately found protein. These two characteristics together strongly indicate pre-eclampsia: a high-risk pregnancy-induced condition that can restrict blood flow between baby and mom and cause problems during labor and delivery. In severe cases it can cause liver or kidney failure, seizures or a stroke.

I wasn’t extremely familiar with pre-e, but I knew it wasn’t good. My midwife ordered strict bed rest, a 24-hr urine analysis and blood labs. Thankfully that night my blood labs came back looking great, indicating that my liver and kidneys were doing their job. But it didn’t make the next few days of bed rest much easier. I just rested in the knowledge that I was doing what was best for my baby.

Tuesday was when my midwife called me with the news; my urine analysis did not look good. I was spilling 1000 g protein and they like it to be less than 300 g. I was declared pre-eclamptic. The only cure for pre-eclampsia: have the baby.

Unfortunately developing a condition like this meant that I could not deliver at the birth center I loved and had been planning on my entire pregnancy. I’d had fantastic care there, fallen in love with the midwives, the homey birthing suites and the empowering natural approach to birth.

The birth center has a partnership with a hospital, and a few doctors there also encourage natural births and allow women to birth the way they want to. Since I had to be transferred, I chose to make it the place my midwife trusted. I definitely had to have a grieving process on Tuesday, February 21. It was very hard to spend nine months expecting this beautiful, natural birth at the birth center, only to have that dream crushed in a day. It’s not that I was against hospital births, but everyone who shared their hospital birth stories scared me with their lack of quality care, or impatient doctors who pressured women to get epidurals, inductions or cesareans when the woman didn’t want them. It was definitely scary transitioning to a hospital and not knowing what to expect.

The midwife consulted with the doctor at the hospital and he said given how far along I was, 38+5, it would be in the best interest of the baby and me to have an induction; he wanted me to get to the hospital ASAP. I was so torn. I wanted to be excited knowing I would be meeting my son soon, but having planned for a natural birth, I knew nothing about drugs to induce labor or what it would be like. I felt so scared.

I arrived at the hospital around 4pm that afternoon and met with the doctor and nurses and we went over a plan. They were so great and answered all my questions respectfully. They did their best to help me understand what labor would be like, how I would feel, etc. I started feeling less anxious and more excited at the prospect of meeting this baby in my belly!

They started me on Pitocin and magnesium sulfate (mag, for my BP) at 5pm. One huge disadvantage to being pre-e meant meant being confined to the hospital bed, laying on my side to labor; this is meant to help reduce blood pressure.

I didn’t start feeling contractions until around 8pm and they were like a dull cramp and weak tightening.  The doctor came in and said the plan was to try and get some rest that night as the baby probably wouldn’t be here until at least noon the next day. Pitocin induces labor, but mag is a relaxin, so it can have the opposite effect, causing labor to last a little longer.

I was able to take a power nap around 11pm for about 45 minutes until midnight when all of a sudden I had a very intense contraction, and then my water broke! It came gushing out and I started crying! Everyone started to get excited as my contractions quickly went from 10 minutes apart to 2 minutes apart. They checked me right after my water broke and I was at 5cm, I was thrilled to be making progress! It was a huge encouragement.

Contractions continually got intense and painful. I had never experienced pain like that in my life. I had many moments of doubting my ability to birth this baby.  My mom told me it was okay to ask for pain meds, and not to feel guilty at all if I needed them. She had six kids and one was induced, and she said that one labor was by far her worst. She wanted me to know that it wouldn’t make me any lesser of a woman for having meds. I was very in my zone though and couldn’t really focus on whether I wanted them or not. I only knew I wanted this baby out NOW. Very quickly the contractions started forcing me to bear down; I was pushing without even trying. I was also vomiting with every contraction; it was awful. The pressure from the intensity of each contraction forced every fluid out of my stomach.

I told the nurses I couldn’t stop pushing if I tried; there was nothing I could do. They checked me again and told me that very soon I would have a baby in my arms, I had reached 10 cm already – this was around 3am! I got a second wind after hearing that. I started telling myself I CAN DO THIS! I will have this baby, I was made to do this, baby will be in my arms soon!

I started focusing on each contraction and bearing down. After about thirty minutes of pushing I was getting worn out and discouraged again. It felt like nothing was happening. Then my midwife said, “Have you touched his head yet?” I was stunned, “What?! His head is down there already?” So I reached down and felt his head and I had never felt so giddy! My mom said I just started giggling with excitement, “Oh my gosh!” I was so excited and started pushing like nobody’s business.

After only 44 minutes of intense pushing, Jacobi came into this world! He was immediately placed on my chest. The euphoria I felt as I realized what I had just accomplished was next to no other feeling in the world. Proud doesn’t do it justice. I had spent nine long months making life and I just labored intensely for several hours and pushed a baby out! If that doesn’t make a woman feel strong and confident, I don’t know what will! I kept saying over and over, “I did it! I did it! I can’t believe I did it!” I was so happy.

Unfortunately things didn’t stay so happy. After delivering the placenta and getting the cord cut, I needed to have three stitches — two to my perineum and one to my labia. This was an incredibly harrowing experience. I did have anesthesia, but it was so raw down there that it was still intensely painful. My husband took baby J while this happened and had his turn with skin-to-skin!

After I was stitched up, baby was placed back on my chest and we cuddled. Baby J all of a sudden turned blue on my chest, and he was whisked away from me and placed in the incubator. Then out of nowhere, I nearly passed out. My BP all of a sudden dropped extremely low, I lost my ability to breathe and all color drained from my face. I was immediately put on oxygen. I remember being only mildly aware of what was happening; I could hear voices but couldn’t concentrate or think. All I could think of was my baby, and hoping he was okay.  I could hear his crying in the distance but it felt surreal. I couldn’t give into my exhaustion because all I wanted was my baby back. I had asked my husband to stay with him, so I knew he was safe.

After I came to, baby was able to be placed on my chest again and he started suckling my breasts. It was a great moment and one both baby and I really needed. It was a strong bonding moment.

About an hour later they wanted to transfer me to the post-birth room. As I tried to sit up in bed, I nearly passed out again. Looking back on it now, I truly believe that my body was experiencing shock from the harrowing night it had just gone through. It didn’t know how to cope with the pain and anxiety. In addition, I lost every fluid in my body during labor, my baby had turned blue and I STILL had to stay on those medications that made me feel awful.

I hate saying that my birth was traumatic because I wanted it to be beautiful, but it really was. I am just so thankful for the quality of care I had. The nurses and doctor treated me so respectfully and followed my birth plan to a T. My unintended hospital birth ended up being such a positive experience. Afterward, my mom told me that her hospital births were nothing like this and she was so impressed and pleased with my care. I would definitely return to that hospital for subsequent births if need be.

I needed 24-hr postpartum monitoring, but I was able to be discharged Thursday, the 23^rd. My BP was better and baby was perfectly healthy. We headed home and spent the next few days enjoying life together as a family of three, learning breastfeeding, bonding with each other and just loving on each other. My husband and I had never felt closer to each other; it was a magical experience.

Jacobi Parker – born 3:44 am on 02.22.12 weighing 7 lbs 1.4 oz and 19 ½ in long. I was 38 weeks+6 days at the time of his birth.