Pregnancy
Pregnancy was very rough for me with Toddler Girl, so I was apprehensive about having to chase a toddler around while feeling so terrible. It turns out that it wasn’t so bad. I mean I was definitely ill (even sicker than the first time around), but we just read a lot (a loooot) of books on the couch. I know I wasn’t much fun, which was evident by what a daddy’s girl she was at that point, but we had some good snuggles. I found it easier to cope with being pregnant when I could see how wonderful the reward was. I was excited to have another little person in my life that I would love so much.
Newborn
The newborn stage is always crazy hard. When Wonder Baby was tiny, people would ask me if it was harder having two kids. I would say that it was harder than having one toddler, but easier than when Toddler Girl was a newborn as she was much higher needs (as much as two kids put together, apparently). I had an easier delivery with Wonder Baby, which resulted in no stitches and a much easier recovery. This is fairly common the second time around, and makes it so much easier to cope with a larger family. Wonder Baby was a more efficient nurser and didn’t feel the need to scream all the time. Every baby is different, so don’t assume that the newborn stage will be anything like what it was with your first baby.
A Family of Four
We are feeling very settled into our little family now, and it’s amazing how much more complete it feels with Wonder Baby in our lives! My main issue has been her sleep; I am less patient than I would prefer when I don’t get enough sleep. I know it will pass, but it’s hard. I feel that I don’t want more children, partly because for over half of Toddler Girl’s life I’ve either been pregnant or sleep deprived and I feel bad. I’m kind of glad she’s still so little, and that her memories of me won’t be strong enough to remember how snappy I can be.
Speaking of sleep, the photos here are in our room. We live in a two bedroom house and I always assumed that the girls would share a room, and they will at some point, but for now Wonder Baby lives in our room. Everyone gets more sleep if the girls aren’t waking each other up, and I don’t trust Toddler Girl not to give Wonder Baby pillows or blankets to help her sleep. We’re trying to be flexible about this sort of thing, but it’s impossible to know in advance how things will work best.
Transitioning to Two Kids part 1 of 9
1. Going from one to two by Mrs. Superhero2. The Difference with Two: On Parenting by Mrs. High Heels
3. The Difference with Two: On Lifestyle by Mrs. High Heels
4. Finding Time with the Second Child by Mrs. Chocolate
5. The first year with two kids by Mrs. Palette
6. What the Transition from 1 to 2 Children was like for My Husband by Mrs. High Heels
7. Tips for Transitioning to Two by Mrs. Deer
8. Prepping #1 for #2 by Mrs. Tricycle
9. The Transition to Two Under Two by Mrs. Rabbit
grapefruit / 4049 posts
it does get better as the little one gets older and their relationship grows. my girls are 4 and 1 and are so cute together right now. I keep thinking about what they can do together in the future, at 5 and 2, 6 and 3, etc… so exciting. I love having two girls too.
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
I love this: Wonder Baby was a more efficient nurser and didn’t feel the need to scream all the time. Ah, babies who don’t scream after feedings, how wonderful that would be!!
I love hearing about your family.
guest
Oh, this is so reassuring! Like you, I just could.not with the tiny baby phase. I feel bad saying so, but I truly, truly hated the sleep deprivation and I was a crazy emotional/not very much fun person to be around. I questioned whether I would EVER be ready for another one and I have to say, now that LO is 4 months old I finally think I really might want another one.
I would love to hear more about how you make do with limited space, as we only have two bedrooms now, too. It’s fine since we only have little G, but eventually it will become an issue if we have another while in this apartment.
guest
This is soooo incredibly helpful! We have a 13 month old and I’m not a spring chicken so we are going to start trying for #2. I’m nervous! But excited. The tiny baby phase was not my favorite
And we live in Boston in a 2 bedroom condo– so space is also a concern. We don’t want to sell our condo and look for a suburb house just yet.
But they say there is never a perfect time- I’m sure we will make it work!
pomelo / 5178 posts
I can so relate to this post; our experiences with going to 2 are very similar! I also was very sick, DD was higher needs than DS, and we hope to have the kids share a room at some point in the future. I really do want to have a third, though, and we’re already planning on trying again next year.
I also thought I wouldn’t be able to handle two! At the end of my second pregnancy I told my husband I regretted getting pregnant again, that it was a mistake, etc… He basically told me to suck it up because it was too late to change our minds.
Truthfully, having two has been much better than I thought it would be. The first 6 – 10 weeks were tough, but it’s gotten much better, and now I couldn’t imagine life without both of my babies!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
I can’t wait for DD #2 to arrive. I can’t wait to see the sibling relationship grow. I know it will be hard but our family doesn’t feel complete with just one child.
hostess / papaya / 10540 posts
Wow I can do relate. I’m so afraid to have a second baby and it really helps to hear others experiences with more than one child.
cherry / 187 posts
Thanks for sharing on this topic. My daughter is 13 months old so it’s definitely on my mind about if we can really handle another. I have always wanted more than one, but the newborn phase really sucked the life out of me too so I’m nervous about going through that PLUS having a toddler! I also love the insight about having a two bedroom house. We have a three bedroom, but the way the rooms are situated, it does not make sense for children. We’d either be doing the same thing as you or having the kids share so we’ve been considering a move before #2 comes (or maybe by the time #2 is 6 months).
guest
I’m not sure if I feel more nervous or not now about the impending birth of my second
DD1 is just 2 and baby 2 is due in 6 weeks. It is true, I am far more relaxed this time around… maybe a little too relaxed and bordering on naive about the newborn stage. DD was/is such a high need baby. I keep thinking – well we got through it once and am still smiling, we can do it again.
And that is a good point about them being too young to share rooms yet (i.e. ‘giving the baby a pillow’). That had not crossed my mind at all!