Before I share Olive’s birth story, I thought I would share my birth story, or rather the story of how my mom gave birth to me. I’m constantly amazed when I hear birth stories from my mom’s generation because they were just so much tougher back then. There were no such things as ultrasounds, or epidurals, or pitocin, but somehow everyone gave birth naturally. This is my mom’s story…
October 29, 1978, 5pm
My mom’s water breaks at home, but her contractions have yet to start. She walks to the local clinic about half a mile away, and another big gush of water breaks on the clinic floor. A doctor yells at her, complaining that amniotic fluid smells, throws rags on the floor and tells her and a couple of nurses to clean it up. She’s told to go to the local hospital to give birth because they’re not equipped to admit her.
My mom goes back home, packs cloth diapers and baby clothes, and heads to the local hospital around 7pm. They admit her because her water has already broken. Around midnight her contractions finally start, but they are mild so she’s able to sleep until 5am when they become painful. The doctors make her walk around to speed up labor, even though her contractions are extremely painful at this point.
She is in a very large room with lots of other laboring women, separated by curtains. Each woman is given an oxygen mask and told to breathe into it continuously, or their baby will die due to lack of oxygen. As much as every woman in active labor wants to scream, no one lets out a peep for fear of killing their unborn babies. My mom didn’t know it at the time, but in retrospect she thinks the doctors told the moms this so they wouldn’t have to deal with lots of screaming women in labor.
Finally it’s time to start pushing. She gets an episiotomy, which was standard for every woman then. She doesn’t remember the pushing that much, but I was born 3 weeks late at 11am on October 30, 1978, and weighed 5.9 pounds. She does remember how painful the stitches were (no anesthesia), but she didn’t let out a single sound. Because she’s tough like that.
January 21, 1980
When my mom had my brother, her contractions started at 5pm, but she decided to tough it out at home as long as possible because it was the middle of winter in January. She prepared my bottles, packed diapers and clothes for my soon to be born brother, and did chores around the house. Around 10pm, all of a sudden her contractions became unbearable, so she decided to head to the local clinic — the same one where her water broke when she was in labor with me.
It was a half mile walk and though she had my dad helping her, the contractions were so painful she couldn’t walk and started crawling. My dad was so ridiculously skinny that he couldn’t even carry her. When my mom finally arrived at the clinic around 11pm, she found the midwives laughing and hanging out. There were no doctors on staff. They checked to see how far she was dilated, and were shocked when they could see the baby’s head! They told her not to push because they weren’t ready and proceeded to run around gathering all the things they’d need. My mom got a second episiotomy, and 2 pushes later my brother was born. My dad was there beside her and remarked that labor was so easy (he didn’t see my birth at the hospital since husbands were not allowed in the labor and delivery room)!
My brother was born just before midnight on January 21, 1980 and weighed exactly 7 pounds. When my mom asked to see the baby, a midwife carried him over dangling upside down by his feet! My mom tore even worse this second time around, and she needed a lot of stitches. The pain was unbelievable, but my mom closed her eyes and remained completely silent while they were stitching her up. In fact they kept waking her up because she couldn’t possibly endure so many stitches quietly, so they thought she was dead! Many years later when my mom went to an ob in the States, she was told her stitches were really botched up, so my mom has been prone to kidney infections ever since she had my brother.
The next morning after giving birth, my mom walked home the half mile distance carrying my brother. After a couple of days rest, my mom was up and about taking care of me, a 14 month old, and my brother. She remembers that there were no such things as pads back then, so women used cloth diapers that they washed by hand, boiled, and hung to dry in the sun. And of course she had to wash all the cloth diapers the same way as well.
When I think about how much tougher my mom’s generation was, it makes me feel so lucky/spoiled/fortunate. I have a washer and dryer. My mom is doing all the cooking and cleaning, and helping out with Charlie and Olive. All I have to do is feed Olive and work from home, but I’m still exhausted. She had to do it all alone and so much more, and she did it without complaining.
Do you know the story of how your mom gave birth to you? Is your mom tougher than you could ever hope to be?
Natural Birth Stories part 1 of 12
1. My Mom's Birth Story by Mrs. Bee2. Emma's Birth Story Part 1 by Mrs. Marbles
3. Sam's Birth Story by Birth Stories
4. Baby H's Birth Story by Mrs. Hopscotch
5. Wonder Baby's Birth Story by Mrs. Superhero
6. Toddler Girl's Birth Story by Mrs. Superhero
7. How Baby HH Came to Be... by Mrs. High Heels
8. Baby J's Birth Story by Mrs. Pen
9. Susie's Birth Stories by Birth Stories
10. Baby Confetti's Birth Story by Mrs. Confetti
11. Baby Boy Heels' Birth Story by Mrs. High Heels
12. My Birth Story and Giving Birth Again by Mrs. Chocolate
pea / 6 posts
Wow… your mom is one tough cookie. My mom had a similar birth story with me. No epidural, no pain killers, lots of walking and shared areas with other laboring mothers. She also didn’t make a single sound throughout and had an episiotomy and stitches with no pain management.
It makes me really admire the previous generation; and how they managed back then.
cherry / 242 posts
I always give people the side eye when they say things were easier ‘back then,’ or how they’d like to live in older generations. No thank you . I’ll take my drugs and clean hospitals.
pear / 1664 posts
My mom had about every pregnancy difficulty imaginable, and spent most of the 8.5 months bedridden and unable to eat any food (could not keep it down). I was born by emergency c-section after my mom started to show signs of jaundice. Her pregnancy/birth story has been most excellent birth control for me!! One funny thing she remembers: the hospital gave laboring or new mothers beer because beer was supposed to start lactation. She says the fridge in the nurses’ station area had a lot of beer in it. This was in ’83.
pomelo / 5178 posts
I’m always amazed by what our mothers went through, too. My mom started having contractions with me at about 5 am, the day I was born. She woke my dad up to tell him, and he proceeded to take TWO hours showering, getting ready, etc… while my mom rushed around getting my older sisters upped, dressed, and fed. At 7 am, they finally left for the hospital… that was an hour drive away! By the time they got to the hospital, my mom was ready to push, and I was born in the hospital hallway because they didn’t have enough time to wheel my mom back to a delivery room.
She didn’t tear with me or have an episiotomy, and by noon (yep, about 3.5 hours later), we were all headed an hour back home. The next day, my dad went back to work, and she loaded me and my two sisters (ages 3.5 and almost 2) into the car for the four hour drive to the “big city” because the only pediatrician my mom trusted was there.
coffee bean / 41 posts
My mom didn’t have an epidural with me, she said she didn’t know of them at the time. It’s not something everybody got like we do now. My dad was deployed so her parents were with her. She had pre-eclampsia and was on bedrest the last month. I know I was born early, but I can’t remember if she had to be induced. She had my brother ten years later (1995), and didn’t have insurance so she couldn’t afford an epidural. The hospital worked with her to help cut expenses, so she came in around midnight and made sure she left the same day and they told her what items to bring so she wouldn’t be charged. I was surprised to hear the hospital was that nice to work with her. I know she didn’t have ultrasounds with my brother or I, so she definitely didn’t know what she was having. I would like to have a natural labor this time, but I just don’t know if I can handle the pain. I feel like I’m being whiny though once I hear mom’s stories, and your mom’s story!
GOLD / wonderful coffee bean / 18478 posts
My mom didn’t have an epidural either. How are we such wimps one generation later?? We’ve somehow gone all soft in general, not just talking about giving birth. It’s like those Occupy Wall St protestors who are standing there complaining about banks while tweeting on their iPhones. Tough life.
kiwi / 718 posts
wow, that’s crazy & amazing. your momma is one tough broad! episiotomies being standard practice *shudder*
this is a really neat idea, though! our mother’s stories of our births & seeing the differences, I like it
hostess / wonderful honeydew / 32460 posts
Moms of that generation are SO awesome. My mom had 3 girls.. all naturally without medication/epidurals. I was 9 pounds 4 ounces. I almost killed her. -.-
apricot / 340 posts
this made me tear up.
apple seed / 1 posts
i am so amazed, shocked and horrified at the same time. your mom is AMAZING.
blogger / eggplant / 11551 posts
what an amazing birth story… and everyone else who commented too! all i know is my mom had a natural birth too, and she thought both me and my sister was going to be a boy, so i can only assume she didn’t get an ultrasound… i’ll have to ask her for more details the next time i see her!! super interesting..
cherry / 128 posts
My grandmother gave birth to my mom all alone, because she had disobeyed my great-grandmother’s (her MIL) attempts to give away my mom’s older sister. A neighbor did help her clean up afterwards.
My mom had a typical medicalized birth with me in the U.S. Standard episotomy, and some sort of localized anesthesia (not sure if epidurals were given in the late 70s), which according to her didn’t work. I had to be vacuumed out, and was really sleepy, so with my younger brother she decided not to have any anesthesia. He was a big baby, and she had to push him out on her back (the least convenient position for mom, since she’s pushing against gravity and the position decreases the pelvic opening but the most convenient for doctors
), so she was completely exhausted by the time he came out.
Hearing my mom’s stories about anesthesia and childbirth made me want to do natural childbirth, but I was also motivated to marry the best of modern prenatal care along with trusting what nature designed our bodies to do – I actually gave birth standing up. But I am sure glad I had easy access to ibuprofen and a washer and dryer!
blogger / apricot / 349 posts
Your mother is amazing! I don’t know the full story but I’m now interested in finding out too!!
cherry / 182 posts
My mom doesn’t remember much details from her births because she was in that much pain. She, like your mom, had to walk to the hospital (3x with me, because I kept giving her contractions then I would decide to want to stay in) and did it all meds-free.
What she does remember, however, is how my dad went to go have a celebratory drink with his friends when they finally admitted her to the hospital (because men were not allowed), and how when he returned to find a daughter instead of a son, he went out again for a disappointment drink! (Apparently this was completely normal back then.)
I really don’t know how our mothers did it back then either. My family was really really poor when we lived in Korea (like no indoor plumbing poor). I still remember my mother hand-washing all our family’s laundry and hanging it out to dry…I can’t imagine adding diapers to that too, AND having 2 babies to take care of!
P.S. — I also think this is the reason my mother encouraged me to get an epidural, and why she still can’t understand why anyone in this day and age would cloth-diaper…because she’s been through it, and it was so difficult for her!
hostess / wonderful persimmon / 25556 posts
Wow. These stories are amazing. All I know about my Mom giving birth to my brother and me is that she did not know what we were going to be (no ultrasounds showed that or she did not get one, not sure) and she did have drugs. I’m not sure what, though. This was in ’75 and ’77. No men were allowed in the labor and delivery room so my Dad sat outside in the waiting room with my uncles and aunts and Gram and Gramps watching the Ohio State/Michigan game. Very important game, you know.
pomegranate / 3053 posts
Wow… now you have me interested in finding out my birth story! It’s amazing how much pain us Moms can endure, epidural or not. I’m glad that husbands/partners are allowed in the delivery/OR for three reasons, 1) support, 2) to see their child being born, and 3) to see what we go through to have our babies!
pea / 15 posts
Really puts things in perspective, doesn’t it. Now, I’m curious about my mother’s labors! I’m gonna have to ask her now. Thanks for sharing!
GOLD / wonderful apricot / 22646 posts
It was incredibly refreshing to read both your brother and your birth stories. My mom was over for hubby’s birthday dinner last night and told me the exact story of cloth diapers, steaming them, and drying them in the son. My mom, with my younger brother, walked herself to the hospital 2 miles away, while having contractions in the middle of the night.
I can’t even fathom the strength, both physically and emotionally that our moms’ generations carry within them. It’s a true story of inspiration.
pea / 17 posts
My mom also had all natural births (!!!). With my older sister, she doesn’t recall too many details except that it was difficult (as a first time mom), and she really didn’t like people helping her through all the pain because she found it embarrassing (she is the most extreme “suffer in silence” kind of person you will ever meet!). My sister was an average sized baby, around 7.4 lbs.
With me / 2nd birth, she labored at home because she actually felt embarrassed to call her sister-in-law for help (my dad was working and she didn’t want to bother him at work!). When she finally got to the hospital, they checked her and she was fully dilated. She recalls literally being thrown into a wheel chair and being wheeled in L&D because they thought she would give birth right then and there. I apparently “slipped right out” and she said it was a relatively easy birth. I was on the smaller side – 6 lbs.
With my brother, she labored for 8 hours at the hospital and said it was the most difficult experience ever. He was big – over 8.5 lbs. She pushed and pushed to no avail, and she mentally and physically gave up at this point – she told her OB “I can’t do it anymore. I don’t want this baby”. It was then the OB gave her an episiotomy and he was finally delivered. She recalls being so exhausted that when they brought him over for her to have a look / hold, she just waved her hands and said “I can’t.”. Haha.
My mom said the episiotomy was by far the most painful part of all three births and that the recovery period was just excruciating for weeks – sitting down, going to the bathroom, etc.
With all that said, my mother still thinks it’s absurd that we deliver with medication these days! She always tells me to suck it up and if they all did it without dying or complications, we really don’t need it either. Lol.. I’m still on the fence about going epi-free, but I’m glad she has put the dialogue in my head and it’s reassuring to know that it can be done.
olive / 54 posts
wow! your mom is supermom! It’s amazing to know how women were able to give birth back in those days. I think after I became a mom, my relationship with my mom became so much closer because only she could relate with you on the birth experience.
clementine / 806 posts
My mom delivered me in the US so she had an epidural. She says her water broke in the afternoon and my uncle (who we were staying with is an OBGYN) told her to rest and call him when the contractions were less than 10 minutes apart. Around 3PM my mom called my uncle and he picked her up and took her to the hospital. Around 4:30 she was ready to deliver me and I popped out 10 minutes later.
The same for my sister. My was in labor for about 5 hours, but pushed my sister out in less than 10 minutes.
guest
Your mom is amazing!! My mom said that one of her biggest accomplishments is that my two siblings and I were born without any sort of medication. I’m very lucky!
Forgive me if I should know this already, but what country were you born in? I’m always interested in hearing about birth norms in other countries. Someone once told me that in some European countries, a new mom is sent home with a full-time nurse for the first month or two. And if you have twins…..2 nurses!!! Can you even imagine the luxury?!
admin / watermelon / 14210 posts
@eve – i was born in south korea!
postpartum care/health benefits seem to be so great in europe and canada. the us has a lot of catching up to do!